And Then There Were Six

When we are young we are all so sure of what we want in life, that many of us are truly confident that we will get it by sheer will. Many even have ideas of who the perfect person is that we will marry, how old we will be (or at least want to be) when certain events happen in our lives, where we will live and what we will be doing for a living. You may gain some control over these things but when you sit down to think about it, no one really knows ahead of time what life will bring them. So much of life involves your current surroundings, your present financial situation, your location, your community, the people in our life and most of all, that very special someone else. Today’s wants and needs may change with tomorrow’s decisions. Unfortunately, it is hard to find out that there are no givens in life. Yet, that is what makes life interesting.

Take, for instance, the ability to conceive children. The majority of people, even today, still take for granted their ability to have children. Reality, however, is that for far more people than you may think, having children is not a given. Sometimes people have to try to come to terms with what God has dealt them. Thankfully, modern medical research has been able to find numerous ways to help people out who might not otherwise have had the opportunity to bear children. It is these parents who have worked so hard that truly appreciate the gift that has been given them. May we all have the honor of being able to feel such gratitude in our lives.

After discovering that there were some couples we knew personally that were in such a predicament, my husband’s and my understanding of the value of children in our lives became very apparent. At this time we were making a decision of our own on the subject of children, our decision was to try for a large family, even with such preliminary thoughts, we still did not know whether or not it was going to be easy or hard. We, like millions of others, put the negative possibilities in the far reaches of our minds. Again, like so many, we said to ourselves that those things happen to "them" not us. Only difference this time was that we knew the "them".

We did make one other decision, that after we had exhausted all options (if we had to) we would consider adoption. There was something about a large family that appealed to both of us. So on we went to try.

Fortunately for us our fears were never met, we were blessed with the ability to have more fun than trouble in conceiving our children. The following stories will hopefully give you some insights to some real pregnancies and the things that can happen, not necessarily the things you read about in cold textbooks.

There is a multitude of changes going on in your body during pregnancy that are out of your control and yet are perfectly normal. Anything from your physical appearance to your mental health can change in the blink of an eye, or so it feels. These are not necessarily the things your doctor tells you about until you ask. One very good reason for that is that there are so many variations of each of these changes that it would take a doctor more time to tell you about them than it would for you to have the baby. Your doctor will wait for your questions as the need arises, he/she may even ask you if you have questions or concerns during each visit. So don’t be afraid to ask. The information and stories you have heard from your friends or mothers regarding their pregnancy doesn’t mean you will nor does it mean the same event will affect you the same way either. It is possible to experience totally new things with each subsequent child. Each child is someone completely different and therefore, it stands to reason that each pregnancy could potentially affect you in completely different ways. This is something I found out the hard way.

One item that I can not stress enough is that it is very important to know your own body ahead of time. This way if something feels amiss, you’ll know right away. Check it out, it’s only a phone call, the doctors are expecting to hear from you.

Often times you will find an obstetricians’ office has nurse practitioners working there as well, they are there to help you, they are qualified in answering most of your questions and if they can’t they will get back to you with what the doctor wants you to do. Having open communication between you and your doctor during this time is very crucial, he/she can’t read your mind. There is equal if not more value in discussing your mental or physical concerns with your husband/partner as well. Don’t leave him out, he too can be a source of continuous support if you let him.

From one child to the next, I still had questions to ask. Certain things stayed the same, while still other issues came up I never experienced before. I am hoping that the following stories will help you see just how different one person’s pregnancies can be. I went through each one, each with their own set of ups and downs, and most importantly, each with the help of a great doctor’s practice and a loving, supportive husband.

For many, reading about what can possibly happen is very calming, it helps them to understand that what is going on with them, is not unique and that they are not alone. For others it makes them worry. Don’t worry, your doctors and nurses are there to help you through it all. It is my hope for you that you also have a great support group, be it family or friends. Again I can’t emphasize enough that you should know your own body. Know where you are starting from so that you know when there are changes and if they are extreme or not. Know if you have weaknesses in certain places – ask your doctor if pregnancy will affect them. I did, I have rheumatoid arthritis, not a debilitating disease but a chronic one nonetheless. As it turned out, the doctor said that many times during pregnancy the type of arthritis that I have could be kicked into a kind of remission. I was relieved to hear that it won’t affect the baby in any way. All I had to do was to stop my medication.

Other medical conditions; such as diabetes, hypothyroid, kidney disease, liver disease, high blood pressure or any other such conditions should be discussed before even becoming pregnant. For people with any of these conditions or any other chronic illnesses, specialists may need to be involved before, during, and after the pregnancy as well. Take care of yourself the right way, you want this baby to have a mother who is healthy enough to keep up with them not one who needs as much care as the infant does. Be smart, check out everything. It would be a good suggestion, that if you have never been to a OBGYN before that you may want to do so even before you get pregnant so that he/she can see where you are starting from, your blood pressure, your iron count, etc... These are all important factors in being pregnant.