We Could've Had a Great Date If It Weren't For You
A GUIDE TO AUTHENTIC DATING
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Many
dating books help you find ways to manipulate others in order to get the
partner you want. You're given advice:
Say this, do that, wait on this, hold back on that – all designed to help you
get The One. I have no interest in
joining that parade. In fact, this book
is not about telling you how to behave in order to get The One. It is not geared for one particular way of
dating, nor one goal. Rather, its
purpose is to help you better understand and benefit from your entire dating
journey wherever it is at a given time.
The
Personal Dating Plan concept allows you to go beyond prescribed ways for you to
be, because it's geared just for you.
Nor is your dating plan something you are supposed to keep secret from
your dates. In fact, I recommend that you
share it with your dates so you will be dating honestly and on a level playing
field.
It
may surprise you to know that you already have a Personal Dating Plan. You probably think that all you've been doing
is muddling through, hoping things will work out for the best, and not really
understanding why they're not. But, as
you'll soon see, no matter what you've been up to it's still considered a
Personal Dating Plan, and you are its sole creator.
The
key to making your Personal Dating Plan work for you is to be clear about your goals,
and understand how your choices play into these goals. This is called conscious dating. By contrast, the unconscious dating you've
been doing up to now has left you clueless about the messages you are sending
out to the dating universe, created confusion over why you pick the people you
pick, and made you think the consequences of your choices came as a big
surprise. I will elaborate more on this
distinction later in the chapter.
The
15 Personal Dating Plans I'll be discussing in this book are:
- The Date Nobody
Dating Plan
- The On-the-Clock
Dating Plan
- The I'm a Seeker
Dating Plan
- The Comfort Zone
Dating Plan
- The Status and
Conquest Dating Plan
- The High Drama
Dating Plan
- The I'm Available
to the Unavailable Dating Plan
- The Parent/Child
Dating Plan
- The Rescuer/Savior
Dating Plan
- The I Get Ahead of
Myself Dating Plan
- The It's Time I Got
Married Dating Plan
- The I Need a
Father/Mother for the Children Dating Plan
- The We're Worlds
Apart Dating Plan
- The Extended
Relationship Dating Plan
- The Long-Term
Committed Relationship (LTCR) Dating Plan
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Book Details
About the Book
We Could Have Had A Great Date If It Weren't For You
goes beyond
typical books for singles by offering men and women a way to alter attitudes
and perspectives on dating rather than just presenting a set of "one size
fits all" rules. It is unique in
accepting the legitimacy of all kinds of single relationships from dating
nobody, to dating married people, to long-term committed relationships.
In doing so it offers single people the opportunity
to enjoy dating for the first time, respect themselves and others in the dating
dance, and learn about the dating plan that is most relevant to them at a
particular time. If the desire is to
break free of old habits and ideas that have not proven successful, and turn
dating into pleasure rather than pain, then this is the one book about dating
you need to read.
About the Author
Bruce Derman, Ph.D.,a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice
in Woodland Hills and Santa Monica, California, who specializes in working with
people in all stages of relationships.
He is a trainer, mediator, and divorce coach for the Coalition for
Collaborative Divorce. He is the author
of an earlier book, We'd Have a Great Relationship If it Weren't for You.