Preaching with AIDS: The Carolyn Jenkins Story

It’s October 5, 1985, I left my visit at Middlesex hospital with Skinny Minny and went to visit my fiancé. The nurse informed me that Dr. Daniels was trying to reach me. She needed to inform me of his current status. The doctor took me into a room and told me that he would not survive through the night. She asked me if he had any other family members besides me. I said, "Yes." She told me that he had told her the final decisions would be solely left up to me and that she would honor his wishes. She asked me to call his family and ask them to come if they wanted to see him alive. I did, they came and she informed them of his condition and they proceeded to go to Atlantic City on a bus ride. Now, I never passed judgment, because everyone has his or her own way of dealing with death. They chose to go, and I chose to stay.

I called my closest friend Nancy, and she came to my side. She walked in the room and found me in bed with him begging him not to die. I asked her to stay with him while I went to the waiting area and she did. I sat crying, when a lady appeared out of nowhere and asked why was I crying. I told her about what all had transpired, and she rubbed my back and gave me a hug and said very softly, "It will be alright". Before I could wipe my tears, she was gone. It was not my imagination, she was there. God had allowed one of his angels to empower me with the strength I needed to get through that segment of the nightmare. I didn’t equate her presence to that because as far as I was concerned, God was through with me. But I do know that when she left, I felt that I was strengthened.

I went back to the room and Nancy asked me if I were okay. I told her what had just happened and she said, "That was an angel and you really need to believe that it is going to be okay". Hours passed and the nurse asked Nancy if she could speak to her in the hall. I laid there in bed with him while they talked. I will never forget the sound of what I know now to be the "Death Rattle". It was the sound of heavy mucus that was stuck in his throat and could not be coughed up. Little did I know, that the sound was the song of death approaching. A song that had become the number one hit on my chart. A song that I would soon hear again. Nancy returned and convinced me to take a walk with her to get some fresh air. Reluctantly I agreed to go with her. I asked my fiancé to hold on until I returned. She and I took a walk to the cafeteria and sat and talked for about an hour. All of a sudden I got this overwhelming urge to get back to the room. Once I got to his door, I saw the doctor with the stethoscope against his heart, and he took one deep breath, and he was gone. The doctor’s head dropped and he softly said "Time", the nurse said, "11:20 p.m." I took off running down the hall of the hospital screaming, and there was Dr. Daniels with open arms. She grabbed me and we both went to the floor. I laid my head in her lap as she sat Indian style on the cold floor and I just cried. I didn’t think that there was that many tears left inside of me.