Mama's Pick

Mama looked so worn out, much older than her fifty-five years. She had spent most of the day sitting in court waiting on the outcome of Trinia's hearing. This time Trinia herself had actually shown up. Each time before, she had failed to make an appearance. Mama would try to make excuses for her absence to the judge, but she wasn't buying it. Today's hearing was a must show or else for my little sister. Mama had pleaded, begged and prayed all night. Once again trying to get through to Trinia.

There were time when we all thought Trinia was finally going to get herself together. She would cry and apologize, promising to clean her act up this time. This had happened every three to six months over the last five years. It was all a scam, whenever Trinia needed more drug money. We all except Mama finally came to realize this. No more giving Trinia money to buy clothes, make-up or to enroll in a program. Each time she was going to get into this program or that program.

"Hey sis, why don't you front me a little money so I can get myself together. There's this drug program that will help me find a job, once I'm clean. You know I'm really gonna do it this time."

I eventually lost count of how many times Trinia ran these same tired lines to me. The first few times I did front her the money, just as Ellen and Mama had. Each time we said this is it. No more. Well, Ellen struck to her word as I did, after the third time. We never saw anything positive that Trinia had done with our money. She would collect our money and disappear for a few months. Supposedly, Trinia was in a drug program that didn't allow visitors or personal phone calls. Trinia actually was hangin' out at a crack house that had wall-to-wall crackheads.

"How did the hearing go Mama?"

"It went alright. Your sister is going to get into a program and get herself on track."

"Mama, how many times have you heard this?"

"I know, but I really believe she is going to do it this time. The judge said someone would be assigned to make sure Trinia gets there."

"Where is she anyway?"

"I think she went by Val's place."

"You think. Mama didn't she leave the courthouse with you after the hearing?"

"Well actually, she ran off right after – the judge said she'll be locked up if she doesn't comply this time."

"Good."

"What do you mean good? My girl doesn't need to be caged up like some zoo animal."

"Mama that will probably be the only way she'll clean up her act."

"My girl don't need to be locked up. She just needs to know that her family loves her."

"Mama we do love her. But your way of loving Trinia has always meant giving into her every whim."

"What are you saying?"

"Nothin' mama."

"No, go ahead and say it. You think this is all my fault. Don't you?"

"No mama, I don't think that."

"Yes you do. You and Ellen have always been jealous of how close Trinia and I are. You're probably saying all this just to hurt me."

"Saying all what. Mama I'm not saying anything."

"I know what you're thinking. Remember, I am your mama."

"Mama please."

"No, go ahead Andrea – speak your mind. You're the open- minded, uninhibited one. Remember."