Comfortably Numb

Chapter One

"Drew! Watch out!"

"Damn! I didn’t see him," Drew shouted and swerved around the slower-moving pickup truck in front of him. He turned to the frightened young woman who had clasped her hands to her chest. "I’m sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about," she said, trying to catch her breath. "You almost hit that truck!"

Drew’s inattention embarrassed him. It had already been a day they’d never forget, but that was no excuse for almost causing an accident. If the woman, the first real love of his life, hadn’t warned him, he would have slammed into the rear of the truck in front of them. As it was, he missed clipping the back of the small Nissan truck by inches. Then, in his overreaction, he’d steered into the left lane of the highway and plunged dangerously in between two other speeding cars.

"I’m sorry," he said. "I guess I didn’t know how powerful this thing is."

"Come on, you gotta be more careful," she said, giving his arm a friendly squeeze.

"You’re right," he said, and rubbed his hand through his hair. "Wow...I really almost hit that guy."

"And the car that just passed you. Did you know she had to swerve out of the way to avoid hitting you when you jumped out on the highway? Are you sure you’re okay there, fella?" she asked again.

"Yeah, I’m fine, really. I’ll be more careful. You can go back to sleep."

"Are you sure? You know we don’t have to do this. We can go back if you want."

"No, I’m sure. I wasn’t paying attention, but I’m okay now. Please, go ahead and get some sleep like you planned."

"Okay Drew, but take it easy. We have a long way to go. Besides..." She smiled. "...We do want to enjoy long lives together, right?"

"You know I do," he said. "Don’t worry, I have this baby under control now."

The beautiful young woman looked at him and smiled. The smile and her warm eyes assured Drew that she trusted him, and knew he’d be okay.

She reclined her seat, closed her eyes, and quickly drifted off to sleep, knowing she could trust him with her life – it wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Drew Martin would have caused the accident that day because the gadgets on the control panel of his new car distracted him. Or so he would claim. He hadn’t bothered to look ahead of him on the ramp when he stepped on the gas to join the northbound traffic on I-75. He was indeed excited about his new toy, the first expensive vehicle he’d ever owned, and it did add to his distraction. The truth was, he had more on his mind than his driving because his mind was thousands of miles away – halfway around the world to be exact. His mind elsewhere, his thoughts had drifted to a replay of all he’d faced in the past months. He and the others had faced too many challenges just to stay alive – challenges a man his age never imagined he’d have to face. Not as a college educated man living in America anyway.

To be leaving the small central Georgia town of Warner Robins was a good feeling. Drew checked his side mirror and steered gently into the leftmost lane. Then, taking a couple of deep breaths, he stretched his arms against the steering wheel and settled in for the drive, joining the other drivers who dared to travel well over the speed limit toward Atlanta, challenging the local sheriffs’ patrol. He set his speed to just over eighty and began to pass the cars on his right, looking at each driver he passed. Most did look back, but none showed signs of recognition. Drew found a sense of security in having anonymity again.

Once he was steady in his lane and comfortably spaced in traffic, he adjusted the air conditioner to a setting that would better handle the hot midday sun burning through his windshield. Then he settled back and looked out in front of him at the long winding ribbons of concrete dotted with dozens of cars and trucks. The steady, even-paced movement on the highway quickly hypnotized him.

Only then did he allow his thoughts to drift back to how he had arrived at such a pivotal point in his life. Many of the memories in the short history were painful. Most were horrific, and presented vivid pictures he couldn’t erase from his mind. He tried as hard as he could, but couldn’t stop the sudden rush of tears that welled up from deep within. He mentally scolded himself for being weak, but his heart tugged hard at him – he still wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision to leave.

The worst was probably well behind him, and he could have stayed in Georgia to continue the career he thought he loved, but he’d made up his mind to move on. After all the bad things that had happened...all the disappointments, there was no other choice than to quit and take the loss. He struggled to push the doubt away, but he had to leave; he knew it. To stay would only mean having to face the ugliness on a daily basis and trying not to notice how ugly it really was. If all the schooling and training he’d invested in his work were wasted – it no longer mattered. Any effort to regain the trust he’d lost in his friends, his work and his government...It was all too much to imagine being worth the effort.

"That’s enough," he whispered, angry again. "I did what I had to do, and I’ll not beat myself up over this. I will not." A moment of silence and another glance at the woman next to him so peacefully asleep, and his doubts drifted away as an easy smile replaced the frown. He looked up into his rearview mirror and watched the town of Warner Robins get smaller and further away.

He wiped the tears from his face and looked over to make sure she hadn’t awakened. She hadn’t. Drew loved being near her, and already felt like he could tell her anything. However, he was glad she wasn’t awake. It wasn’t the time to answer any more questions about his decision to go – no matter how much she wanted to help, he wasn’t ready to face any level of feminine interrogation. The last thing he wanted was for her to help him second-guess his decision.

She had been on the road for weeks herself, and had only just caught up with him a few hours earlier. Now that they were truly safe, and together, he was certain their lives would be better. It was a fresh start for them both, and they had everything in the world to look forward to. Together. Yet she’d given up much to be with him, and what she’d sacrificed was more than he had the right to ask of her, but she did. At that moment, Drew wasn’t sure he deserved her love.

The fast-steady pace of the traffic continued its subtle, hypnotic effect. Memories of his life flew recklessly through his head until one in particular took root. That one memory played out in his mind like it happened just the day before. It was a warm memory – one from a few years earlier at the Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago. Good old IIT. He grinned, remembering all the things he’d accomplished there, but felt his face flush when he recalled his lesser deeds and accomplishments. It was all part of growing up, he rationalized. All part of becoming a man.

The deep red blush also came from the memory that really started it all for him as an adult – the warm autumn day in his first year a