Gifts Guaranteed to Please a Woman

Chapter 1

A gift should be given from the heart with no strings attached. A gift should show effort and creativity. You get extra points if it hurts a little. By that I mean you have to give of your most precious possessions, whether it's time, money or both.

The "Ouch" Test

Did you recently buy yourself a new set of $1,000 Ping golf clubs but spent $30 on cologne for her birthday? How about your purchase of a super deluxe 500 watt sound system with speakers big enough to blast you out of the Hollywood Bowl? You "generously" gave her a no-name silk scarf from a discount store (at least it could have been from Hermés). You have time to plan for the fishing trip with the guys and two hours a night to work out at the gym, but you didn't find time to make dinner reservations when you asked her out for Saturday night. These stories have a life of their own and in fact are passed on through word of mouth from girlfriend to girlfriend, sister to sister, mother to daughter. You don't want to become an infamous character in this tradition of oral history.

On the flip side, a well-conceived beautifully presented gift can earn major points for years to come. The price can be as small as a handful of out-of-season tulips or a simple breakfast in bed. A man who has mastered the art of giving is a rare and desirable creature. If you want to be worshipped and adored by the woman in your life, read on and become a legend in your own time.

Rule Number 1- Be Observant

Sounds obvious but most men fail to pay attention to the details that make her unique. Come on guys-- wake up! Doesn't the woman you care about deserve as much attention as your business? O.K. how about your hobby? The female is so much more observant and sensitive to your needs. She knows everything about your job, your favorite foods, the clothes you like. Ask any woman the size of her man's shirt or shoe size. I bet you don't know hers. I've seen women obsess about the right color or pattern of a tie. Of course she knows everything in your wardrobe to match it. She knows all your passions, your favorite sport right down to your favorite teams and brand of running shoe.

A girlfriend once told me how disappointed she was after receiving a Christmas present from her husband of 20 years. It was a day-glow yellow flowered print dress . . . something in which she would never be caught dead. He had forgotten to take the receipt out of the box, which confirmed he purchased it Christmas Eve on his way home from work, probably at the suggestion of the department store sales person. And all those years she wore pastel, solid classic clothes. What a disappointment to think her husband was so insensitive not to notice her preference, not to recognize her unique style. She returned it the next day. Worse yet, he didn't even ask why she never wore the dress.

Don't be late for any special event-- birthday, anniversary, Valentine's Day. Short of a head-on collision or death in the family, there is no excuse. Gifts that arrive late are a great disappointment. If it's a gift like a concert or trip, allow time for her to plan. Don't make her choose between losing her job or a week cruising the Greek Isles. Plan ahead. Maybe you thought you could get away with that cheesy souvenir coffee mug you got in the airport gift shop. Guess again. Gifts that scream 'he bought me without any thought five minutes ago' enroll you in the gift givers Hall of Shame.

Rule Number 3 - Presentation Counts

Even the most welcomed gift, if taken out of the bag with the price tag still on, is self-defeating. Wrapping is important. An inexpensive gift, beautifully wrapped, is much more exciting to open. If you can't figure this out, ask someone to help or buy from a store that wraps. Use satin ribbon. My favorite is French silk with a small wire on the edge to give shape to the bow. Wrapping paper should be something other than the ordinary. Museum gift shops sometimes sell Italian marbleized paper. Look in expensive bookstores; they sometimes sell unusual wrapping paper. Buy a cloth covered or china box in which to put your gift. This becomes a part of the gift itself. One exotic flower elegantly boxed in tissue and ribbon counts more than two dozen cheap mums from the supermarket.