Daddy put down his pipe and went into the bedroom to sleep until dinner and there was such quiet that I could hear only a fly buzzing. I thought about Miss Windell and was happy whenever I saw her at school. She gave me two poems to learn for the Fall program. I looked at the poems on the wall.
"By the waters of Babylon we sat down and wept."
I wondered what it meant. I read it over and over trying to remember it. Outside a dog barked and the afternoon train went through. Then I read the other poem and didn’t think much of it. But Miss Windell wanted me to learn it and I loved her so much I had to do it.
"Build thee more stately mansions oh my soul...."
Whenever I read the Psalm it was like seeing pictures of gold statues or painted plates. To me the words were like a glass antique, something that costs hundreds of dollars. I liked to read and we had a book case full of Daddy’s books, ones called The Underground Railroad in Indiana and Walden Pond, even one with his name in it that was called Sacred Poems. I said the Psalm out loud now but whispered it so he couldn’t hear me...
"By the waters of Babylon we sat down and wept when we remembered Zion. There on the willow trees we hung up our harps."
I stopped when Jeffrey came in and put soap bubbles all over my arms and posed on one toe like a ballerina. In a deep voice I spoke "build thee more stately mansions, oh my soul..." Jeffrey began to laugh and he doubled up. He fell against the cabinet and knocked off Mama’s one good cut glass dish. It came down and crashed against the floor, splinters falling everywhere.
Daddy thundered into the room then from his bedroom which was next to the kitchen.
"Birdie" he yelled at me like I’d done it. He jerked me by the shoulders and Mama came into the room then and she was mad. He looked at her and stopped holding my shoulder. The room was quiet except for his breathing so hard. Jeffrey stood frozen to the spot and watched him.
"Don’t you touch them" she yelled at him. "You leave them alone or I’ll take them and leave."
She stood there with her chin quivering. I didn’t know what he’d do next. The stony look was back in his eyes. He shook his finger at her and yelled "Just don’t think you can leave. If all of you don’t straighten out I'm going to put out the pilot light on the stove at night while you’re asleep."
I looked at the blue flame on the gas stove and wondered if he’d do it. He looked like he had caught us. We knew he didn’t sleep much and wandered around the house at night, sitting in a dark room even. He yelled at Mama again, "Don’t you even think of leaving. I’ll get my guns and come after all of you. I’ll shoot you. You ain’t leaving me."
Sweat rolled down his face and he coughed, then picked up his pipe and went outside into the back yard. I knew he’d stay there all night talking to himself. Mama got the broom but I told her I’d clean up and she told me I was such a good girl and that she didn’t deserve me