Confessions of Lifetimes in the Fountain of Choice

The remainder of our tribe made their way north as I stayed to feed my hunger for the blood of those who fed off mine. I was again without the spirit, living on the illusion of vengeance. I was able to take more lives, but I could tell that I was getting sloppy and careless in the hunt. I was leaving little signals for them to track, and my hiding places were becoming fewer with their clearing the land to make roads and build cities.

My goal was to just go on killing as if it was nothing, and I would eventually find a way to be at peace with myself again. I knew better, but deep down, I think I was ready to be caught. I had become a defeated warrior with nothing or no one on my side, and the only thing that kept me going was time. I could see that the very man whom I hunted had now locked into and fixed on my trail. I was so tired and lonely that I wanted us to have that last dance to the death. At this point, everything of value that I ever had to lose was already gone.

One morning as I slept, I was awakened by the sound of men tracking close to my hideout. They were everywhere around the outside of my hideout, and it was just a matter of minutes before I would be discovered. I knew that I had no means of escape and would probably be tortured to death by my enemies. I could feel that this was my time to meet with destiny.

I lay still and quiet as they passed over me a number of times. My horse had been captured and they knew I was close by. I could smell them all over the place but would not give in to fear. The images of my slain people kept going though my mind. The clock had run out for my days of battle, and all I had left was this one last fight to claim a few more lives.

Just a few feet away, I could feel the presence of a few men who I knew would not miss me as the others had done. I jumped up quickly to prepare myself for the worst. As I stepped out of hiding, I found myself face to face with the very man I was hunting. We looked each other squarely in the eyes, and both of us knew that our souls had unfinished business to which we must attend. It seemed like forever that we stared each other down, and for a short time we were both frozen in that moment. The hatred in our eyes for each other was almost like a type of love or respect that had been long misunderstood. The only way we could communicate with one another was to do what we had both set out to do; it was time for one of us to die at the hands of the other.

Without thought and with total rage, I charged him with a sharp object in my hand. My sole intent was to do him serious harm in the hope of taking his life and that of as many of his friends as possible before they killed me. I attacked him like a crazed animal. My main focus was all over this man, giving him all I had left in me. During the struggle, I removed a locket from his neck and tucked it in my pouch as a trophy, in the event I would survive. The excitement alone was enough to kill me from an overdose of adrenaline that I’d been saving for just that moment.

I could hear his friends coming toward me but could feel that my prey was not yet dead. I did do some damage to him, but to what extent I did not know. All of the fury inside me pushed up the emotions in us that made us who we had become in this life. I could still feel the negative connection between us that had been with us in another life, and I knew that what little time together we had left was not going to be near enough time to rectify this matter.

I was rushed by a large group of men and found myself just struggling to live. No one used his gun for the scuffle. They just beat me with their hands and tried to subdue me for capture. I used every technique of combat I was able to apply to the situation, and I was able to put enough space between us to focus on a retreat. I was able to break away, so I ran through the woods, zigging and zagging to avoid gunfire. I jumped on my horse and as I rode for my life, a loud bang sounded and I felt numbness setting in my entire body. I had been shot in the back by one of the men whom I had just fought with. I continued to ride and was able to get away, but the injury I had sustained was just as the Indian woman had predicted. I would never in that lifetime do battle again.

By instinct, I rode north to find a place to try to mend my wounds, but I knew that if I got off my horse I would surely die. The shot to my back had paralyzed my lower body. I was also losing blood at an incredible rate. I managed to tie myself to my horse as it ran due north nonstop at full speed for over three hours. I was close to unconsciousness and in incredible pain as the scorching hot sun added to my most painful day.

After a long, painful ride, I had come to a large body of water and rode my horse into the deep end to flush my wound. While sitting on my horse, drinking from the flow and flushing my wounds, three Indian girls came to me (as if someone had sent them) and walked my horse (with me still on it) back to their camp. I was too weak to question them or put up a fight, because I was fading fast into a state of unconsciousness. They didn’t speak to me during the journey; they just took the horse by its reins and guided us to safety.

I woke up days later in the company of a distant tribe who, for the most part, believed in total peace and unity. When I told them of the new people who were taking our land, they knew I had been sent by the spirit to prepare them for new ways. The medicine man showed me how he had healed my wound but there was nothing he could do about the injury to my spine. I was permanently paralyzed from my waist down but would be taken care of by my distant tribe.

During my time with the new tribe, we practiced many of the same ways of spiritual communication and giving thanks to the land. The people could feel the energy of a spiritual guide in me but could not understand why I gave up the word to do battle. Once I explained my path with the negative destiny, the people were amazed that I was still alive. It was truly the work of the spirit that guided me to their tribe.