The Mystic Gospels of Jesus the Christ
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13. I grasped his head firmly, before he could stop me. And I kissed him long on the mouth. 14. Then I said, "How would it feel if you had a woman all your own? How would you like to know that you could always depend on her? 15. No matter what, she would always stand loyally by your side. She would loyally pour Love over the wounds of your heart and mind. 16. I know that you long for this, Jesus. And I can give it all to you. 17. I want to give my whole self to you. I want to give you my heart, my body, mind, and soul. 18. Will you accept my gift? Will you give yourself the great gift of selflove and happiness, and make me the happiest woman in the world?"
19. He looked directly at me, very sadly. He shook his head silently. 20. Then, overcome with infinite weariness, he moaned, in a whisper, "Get thee behind me, lower nature!"
21. From any other man, those words would have sounded stilted or contrived, as if he were playing a role in a play. They would have sounded artificial or false. 22. But Jesus was incapable of playing games, and he would never have treated my heart lightly. He was always embroiled in deepest emotional and spiritual struggles. 23. These were real and sincere. He always tried first to be true to his vision of God as Love.
24. But it was a Love so much greater than that normally shared between a man and a woman. I understood this man, after having seen his struggle, shared his nightmares, for years.
25. Jesus continued, a tear rolling down his agonized face, "Traces of personal desire still remain." It was a core of his teaching that a person must rid the self of all selfish and personal desires or "will," to allow the "will of God" to take over completely. 26. "They keep haunting me, and will not go away." After a moment, he said, "I shouldn't be talking to you about this, Mary."
27. "Who would be better? Who knows you better? 28. And who loves you more? I'm exactly the person you need to talk to when you're feeling low," I said. 29. I felt a sense of triumph. Yet it was mixed confusingly with his deep pain, which poured into my heart like acid.
CHAPTER 36.
Verse 1. "No," Jesus hissed, "you're not the person I need to talk to, Mary." His voice grew tender and hollow: "You make me want to live in this world. 2. When you are near me, I want to become a normal man. I want to love you as a man loves a woman. 3. You remind me of just how much I want to marry. My human self longs to settle down, and rear a family. 4. In fact," he paused dramatically, "I want to marry you. I have never wanted anything more." 5. His body trembled as his shoulders jerked with sobs. His eyes were infinite deep pools of hopelessness.
6. He reached out a limp arm towards me. I couldn't believe it! 7. Was this a proposal? I rushed into his waiting arms. 8. We held each other tightly. We were both breathing hard. 9. I started to weep. Gradually, tenderly, he separated from me. 10. He gave me a slight, very tender nudge away from himself. He broke my heart for the thousandth time.
11. "Let me hold you. Let me comfort you, Jesus," I pleaded.
12. He spoke in agony, from the deepest part of his heart, and through tears: "The comfort that I need can't come from you, Mary. You don’t know how much I wish that it could! 13. But your tender Love is a cool, refreshing spring on a vast dry desert. It is a fire in snow and ice. 14. It is God reaching into my human heart, healing me. It means so much more than words can say." 15. He broke into uncontrollable weeping. Afterwards, he looked at the floor, unable to make eye-contact. 16. "You are such an extraordinarily beautiful woman, Mary. You could have any man you choose. 17. You must know by now that you are wasting your time with me. Why don't you marry another man?"
18. Tears were flowing down my cheeks. I gasped, "I think you know the answer to that one. 19. You know better than anyone. I’m hopelessly in Love with you."
20. Any other man would have celebrated. But with him, I could feel misery radiating from his poor tortured soul.
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About the Book
The Mystic Gospels present a Jesus virtually unknown to the average student of history. For this is not the Jesus of the white robes, walking on clouds, impervious to the world, and all-knowing. No, this is the human Jesus, struggling with and through his life, encountering the "demons and dragons" not only of other people's hearts, but of his own.
This Jesus is like us. He is completely human. But he is also completely divine. It is this knowledge that makes him a mystic. His major emphasis is always Love, and that is "Love plus nothing."
This Jesus does not argue theology or religion. He is familiar with many traditions, including the Hindu, Buddhist, and Taoist. Indeed, during his "lost years," during his twenties, about which the Scriptures say nothing, he goes to India and studies the world with the masters of mysticism in that exotically spiritual environment.
This human Jesus, although acquainted with sorrows, also smiles and laughs easily. He is moved easily, and it is in his supreme humanness that we can all find our supreme divinity.
About the Author
Mystic Richard Shiningthunder Francis was consultant to Time, Newsweek, and Sixty Minutes. He is founder of the Institute of Agapology and Metaphysics, and of the Pneumarium.
The author of Jehovah Good-bye, Journey to the Center of the Soul, and Luminous Ecstasies and Passions, he has been the subject of three tv series, Psychology of Spirituality, Way of Universal Love, and Spiritual Awakenings, Francis has spoken on European national radio, and many American stations. He hosts a radio program, Heartmind.
Former editor of Lovespirit and Cosmic Visions, he was consultant for the Holistic Medical Center and the Center for New Age Studies. He lives in Liberty Township, Ohio, with his beloved wife of thirty-one years, Ada Maria.