Survival: The Will and The Way

Introduction

The events in this book took place while we were on the farm down in Alabama. My mom and dad were bringing up eleven children while at the same time they were trying to make ends meet.

Back then, having a gang of children was not rare. Taking care of them and seeing to it that they survived to become grown was.

All the events in this book are true. The names of folks other than those of the Young family and their spouses have been changed, to protect their privacy.

These events took place from the time that I was born, November 18, 1952, until February 1964. There are some mentions of events that took place before I was born, while some of the family lived in the old house "Across the Creek."

Co-Editors, the Youngs:

Pollie Alice Parhams (Tur)

Aner Ruth Young (Ruth)

Lizzie Ree Young (Lizzie Ree)

Woodrow Young (Buck)

John Wilmer Young (Little Buddy)

Annette Smith (Annette)

Nancy Mae Williams (Nancy)

In Memory of: William Gomez Young (Gomez)

Yvonna Williams (Von)

Sammie Maye Moore (Doll)

The Will and the Way

When I was eleven years old, each Sunday I would go down to the cellar of our house in San Francisco to be alone. There I prayed to God to let us go back to our farm in Alabama, or to let me awaken from what I hoped was a long sleep, so I would find myself back home. Alabama had been home for me, and this new place wasn't. I had been born there, any my memories were of the times on the farm.

Looking back, it doesn't seem so long ago that I was a little girl growing up in that big, old, drafty house on the farm down in the woods of Perote, Alabama. But it has been a long, long time. Perote is a small, quiet, and slow-moving place way back in the woods. Because it is so far, the little community where we lived in called "Jamback." And because it is so small, it is often a target for small-town jokes, such as "By the time the rear end of your car reaches the Welcome to Perote sign, you have already left Perote." And "Don't blink, or you will miss it."

Daddy was a scrapping five feet, four inches. But he carried himself as though he were ten feet tall. He was a sensitive and caring man, but he did not make a practice of letting folks see the sensitive and caring side. Not even his family got to see this side often. Even though he was a kind man, he believed that if you showed a person too much kindness, they would most likely walk on you. Since he was a private man, he kept to himself a lot. Therefore, he was not an easy person to get to know. Most folks thought that he was mean to the core. And most folks were afraid of him.

Daddy had many sayings that he felt would justify his actions. "Do unto others before they do unto you" was one of them. And he did his best to live by this belief. If he felt that someone was going to do harm to him or to his loved ones, Daddy did not wait for them to act. He acted first. Another one of his sayings was, "I don't just play railing for railing, I tear the whole damn fence down!" And if someone did harm to us, he did not get even, he got revenge.

When Daddy believed that we were right, he supported us with all his might. He did not want anyone else to discipline us. He felt that was his job. At school, the teachers were permitted to whip the students when they felt that a whipping was in order. For instance, if a child did not turn in homework or if they talked in class, they got a whipping. Daddy was against this way of thinking. He wanted the teachers to tell him. Then he would make the final decision about what would be done.

Daddy told us if the teachers tried to whip us, tell them the following: "My daddy said don't whip me on my hands because I have to work with my hands. Don't whip me on my back because I have to lay on my back. Don't whip me on my legs because I have to walk on my legs. Don't whip me on my behind because I have to sit on it." His message was: don't whip his children. He was quite capable of doing that. He said he was sending us to school to learn. Any disciplining that was needed, he would do. And when he felt that we needed it, we got it.

He did not believe in public displays. But just as soon as the family was alone, he took care of the situation. If he felt that an outsider was wrong in their opinion of us, he let them know it. And he made sure that they knew how he felt about them too. He did not hold us accountable for their mistakes.

One time I ordered some items from a catalogue. I did not know that I was supposed to sell them and send the company a portion of the money. All I saw was the word FREE in bold letters. I was probably six years old at the time. I was just old enough to fill out the order blank, address the envelope, put it in the mailbox, and lift the flag for the mailman to pick up the letter. When the items arrived in the mail, as far as I knew, they were mind. I did not read, nor did I know to read, the "fine print." I opened the box of goodies and I used them. They were perfumes, ointments and other such goodies. I shared them with my friends and with my family. We enjoyed them.

I got lots of letters from the company. But since they were not offering more free stuff, I threw the letters away. After a while, a man from the company came down to our house. I saw him when he drove up. We all did. I also heard him talking to Daddy. He told Daddy that I had taken some goods from their company. He also told him that they had requested payment on several occasions, but I had not paid. He told Daddy that I could go to jail if I did not pay right away.