SOLOMON ISAIAH SPREEWELL
Throw-Up, Pigs & Kisses
by
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Out of all the kids in our class only two ate everything on their tray. The rest of us starved the remainder of the day. Besides the nasty food, a huge, one-legged cockroach was found under D.B.’s pear half. This unexpected surprise put a fine finish to everyone’s lunch. "Well, would you look at that!" shouted D.B. "A freakun’ roach was hidin’ under my pear! Hey he’s only got one leg." "It’s nice to know the quality of lunches served around here," added Carlos. "Let me see," wiggled Louis as he squirmed in for a closer view. "You know, those things carry diseases. It could have infected all of us." "Cool your jets, Man. This thing ain’t gonna hurt us. It’s just a bug. Anyone have five bucks they would give me if I ate this creature?" pronounced D.B. "I do!" yelled Frank, "but only if you eat it in five pieces. You have to cut it up and eat it piece by piece. You have to have the first piece swallowed before you stick another one in your mouth." "No sweat! I get a dollar per piece," exclaimed D.B. "Shake and you’re on, Moneybags. Making money the easy way, I ought to tell the lunch ladies to give me surprises more often so I can earn some extra cash for dippin’," muttered D.B. as he prepared his protein power bug for digestion. "You guys are disgusting!" shrieked Gretchen grabbing her side as if it gave her a pain. Funny thing though, she inched closer and closer to the action to witness the feeding. News of the bet traveled fast in the lunchroom. Before D.B. had finished cutting his roach into five distinct pieces, everyone started scampering into positions in which they could view the event. Roger, knowing everybody would probably overlook his actions; took this opportunity to slip Chris a note. He stealthily glided over to Chris’ table, and when D.B. took his first bite, Roger carefully slipped the note into the pocket of her jacket. At the same time he was giving her the note, he whispered instructions in her ear. Roger then walked back to our table unnoticed like the cool, suave and debonair James Bond after completing a mission. "Mission accomplished," he breathed. By now D.B. was devouring the last piece of cockroach. He was enjoying his meal so much, that he was making sure that everyone could hear the crunching sounds his teeth were making upon grinding the cockroach into digestible pieces. He did save the leg for dessert. After eating the five pieces to win the wager, he cleansed his palate with the cockroach’s only leg as he glanced around the room for approval. "Frankie, oh Frankie--it’s time to pay up," smiled D.B. with a piece of cockroach still stuck to one of his front teeth. "You’re beyond help," needled Frank as he handed D.B. the money. "Nice do’un business with ya," smirked D.B. as he folded the money while sticking it into his pocket. "At least get that bit of cockroach that’s stuck to your tooth removed," added Frank as he turned to walk away. By now, lunch was over and everyone was putting up their trays and filing into line in order to head back to class. Even though it was extremely hard to keep from looking at Chris, I somehow managed to keep my willpower in tact. With Roger’s help, I was able to get back to class and seated without noticing Chris.
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About the Book
Is fifth grade a year to remember or forget? Solomon Isaiah Spreewell (Sis) seems to continually ask himself this question. How many boys can say that they have gone with the wrong girl, fell face first into pig manure, saw the principal get thrown-up on, got a kiss from his teacher, watched a classmate devour a cockroach, and battled with his sister Andie and her antics daily? Sis is sure that he is the only one with problems like these. Add to these problems a well--meaning friend called Twid, and the rest of the fifth grade. With the army of help that Sis has, how does he manage to get himself into such predicaments? The question should have been how does Sis manage to get out of such predicaments. The answer is the same way he got into them, with the help of his family and friends. The results that Sis receives to each of his problems aren’t always what he had hoped for; nevertheless, the results are hysterical, as sometimes the unexpected becomes the expected. Is fifth grade a year to remember or forget for Solomon Isaiah Spreewell? You’ll have to read the book to find out.
About the Author
Writing about a boy growing up in rural Missouri was not hard for Shannon Gepford; he has lived his entire life in Bates County, which afforded him a great background for Solomon Isaiah Spreewell. He currently resides near Butler, Missouri, with his wife Misti and their two daughters, Alyx and Mady. Shannon is a former teacher and coach and is the current Fellowship of Christian Athletes’ sponsor for Adrian High School. He has written hundreds of weekly sports columns for The Adrian Journal, a rural newspaper. He has also had a poem--"Remember When" published in an anthology titled Moments of Reflection by The Poetry Guild in 1997. Shannon is currently working on another Solomon Isaiah Spreewell book.