Limo Louie

Who in the world, you may ask, I hope, is "Limo Louie"? And why, you may puzzle further, is he doing this? Why would he open up the secret world of the limousine driver whose passengers glide along in darkened luxury vehicles, sheltered from the prying eyes of others, and probably having, you are thinking, ONE HELL OF A GOOD TIME! Ahah..you think--this is going to be another "Kiss and Tell" story adventure, telling about fantasies, sex, drinking, laughing, sharing love and life, hopes and dreams, highs and lows, the thrill of expectation, the despair of rejection, and the need to be recognized, respected, and "royalized". Well--

 YOU’RE RIGHT!

 Limo Louie’s exist everywhere on this planet, and this Limo Louie lives and works in the East, and has, over a 10-year period experienced and accumulated literally dozens of stories about the people who use limousines for any and all reasons: weddings, proms, "nights on the town", bachelor and bachelorette parties, anniversary and birthday celebrations, engagements, trying-to-impress rides, excuses for partying and drinking, going to concerts, sporting events, gambling forays; for business trips, airport transportation and the like. Limouisines come in all types and sizes--.from 30+foot super-stretch behemouths holding 10-14 passengers or more, to 6,8, and 10 passenger stretches with all kinds of amenities from TV’s, stereos, bars, beds, pulsing lights and sensuous leather seating. And there are other kinds of specialty vehicles such as Bentleys and Rolls Royces (Wedding favorites), Mercedes, Farraris, old Cadillacs, Packards, Fords, and even horse-drawn carriages!

STORY #1: THE ROSE PETALS

Late one Saturday night I received a frantic call from the owner who told me we had a customer who wanted to ride around the downtown area, near the water-- a gentleman and his lady--a couple whose fantasy was to cruise through the waterfront area in a super-stretch limousine whose floor had been decorated and strewn entirely with rose petals--and to make love on the floor!

 When I arrived at his house later, he asked me if this was possible. I replied "it’s OK with me, sir, if you’re not smoking or involved with drugs during this fantasy!" He readily agreed, and we made our first stop, before getting his lady, at a local florist, where he had previously arranged to buy a VERY large box of rose petals for the upcoming fantasy. He and I proceeded to crawl about this 30’ super-stretch and sprinkle the floor thoroughly with his rose petals--in preparation for his memorable night on the town with his lady.

 We next picked up his very beautiful female companion (who was dressed to the "9’s") and sped to the downtown waterfront area.

 At a pre-arranged signal, the man raised the privacy panel, opened the champagne, and started to realize their long-awaited fantasy journey. A few minutes later, the car began to shake violently from side to side, up and down, the torque of the moment punctuated with sighs, moans and low-pitched grunting and panting--as recorded by the intercom system accidentally triggered by the couple during one athletic movement--possibly her high heels! This went on for quite a long time--well into three hours--stopping for a few minutes, and then beginning again as I traversed the same routes several times--braking gently so as not to counteract the participants in their fantasy rise! Well into the 3^rd hour I hear a loud scream from the back, high-pitched and definitely from the woman. Well, I didn’t like this development, so I stopped the car on the roadside, knocked forcefully on the divided panel, waited a few seconds, and put the panel down from my controls up front. I waited a few seconds, then turned around and peered in. The man had just given his lady an ENGAGEMENT RING--and that’s why she screamed.

There is a P.S. to the story, my friends and readers: we later did their wedding--it was a striking and beautiful affair--1^st class all the way--.and I hope and trust their honeymoon was a memorable and athletic as their "rose petal" fantasy. When I returned to our offices later that night, the entire cleaning crew commented and marveled at the scattering of rose petals on the top of the TV, on the shelves, in the glasses, stuck to the ceiling, etc. I told them the true story and ultimate purpose of the fantasy trip. They all laughed heartily and went back to work with big smiles on their faces!