What Doctors Didn't Tell Us
About Double Breasted Suits and Single Breasted Women
by
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It doesn't take long once the hair starts
falling. A little here and a little
there, in the bed and on my pillow, all over my clothes, at work, on the table,
and everywhere. It sticks to me when I
take a bath. I can go outside and run
my hands over my head and hand full of hair falls. I never knew I had that much hair. I can't handle it any longer.
It is terrible. I get the
scissors and ask Bruce to just cut off what is left. He looks at me with a look of fear and says, "But what if I
mess it up?" My God, mess what up? How
can he mess this up? It is already a
mess. I am serious. It is going one way or another. And if I have to, I will do it myself. I run to the bathroom (that seemed to be my
haven these days) and am about to cut off what little is left of my hair
myself. At that point, Bruce comes in
and takes the scissors away from me and asks if I am sure. He cuts my hair. After all the hair is gone, I am better. I still cry because now you really can tell
I have cancer. No matter what I do, I
am bald and no matter what, I have cancer.
(You know, you may lose the hair on your head, eyebrows and eyelashes,
the hair under your arms and legs, and the hair all over your body. You may lose all this hair, but the hair
over your upper lip never falls out.)
Yes, now the cancer is really there. Even with the loss of one breast, the hair
loss is more disturbing. I can stuff a
bra and put a shirt on and no one will know.
But the hair . . . I’ll wear a wig or put on a scarf or hat and still
everyone knows something is wrong. Then
when you lose your eyebrows and lashes, no amount of make-up can really
help. But I try. My skin color is different, almost greenish
white. I buy new make-up to try to add
color back to my face. (Sometimes you
lose all your body hair and sometimes you don't.) From the waist down, I look more like a young girl before
puberty. From the waist up, and
depending on which side you are looking at, I look like a little old man on the
left (no breast/no hair) and on the right, a little old lady (saggy breast/no
hair). My God, has my body turned on me?
It was always there for me. My
breasts were fairly large, my waist was small, and my legs were firm. Now my ribs show. I have only one breast and because of the kind of cancer I have,
that one will be going soon. I feel so
weak. My God, My God, have you forsaken me?
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About the Book
There are times when even doctors don’t understand
what breast cancer patients go through or feel physically and emotionally. Written by three breast cancer survivors,
this book is not about the cancer or cancer medication but about living with
the disease. It is meant to help you
understand the cancer patient as they search for some semblance of normalcy in
their lives. It deals with love and
laughter, marriage and separation, and the courage to live and to die.
Martha, Neppie, and Loretta tell their stories as
frankly as they can hoping others will benefit from their experiences. With family, friends, courage, and one’s own
faith, they have survived and are able to tell their stories.
About the Author
When Martha Falterman was diagnosed with cancer, her first thought was of her daughter, Toni. She was only sixteen years old and Martha wanted to see her grow up. She was the reason Martha fought this disease. In the last eight years, she has seen her daughter mature and grow up to be a fine young lady. "Thank you Lord." Martha said, "Now I would have a second reason to battle this disease. My grandson, Logan, is the new ‘love of my life.’ When and if this cancer should return, I would fight it until my last breath. I want to see him grow up." This is also dedicated to each of you that have been diagnosed with breast cancer and have the courage to fight. Each time I meet a new survivor and hear her story, I get new strength. To each of you, I say, "You are my heroes." Remember the greatest thing in the world is the ability to move in a positive direction. Neppie Constantin Trahan lives in Lafayette, Louisiana with her husband, Freddy. They are both considered true Cajuns. Neppie loves good food, music, Cajun dancing, and visiting with family. The simple things are important to her and she considers every day a gift from God and what we do with it is our gift to Him. Neppie said that when she was diagnosed with cancer, she needed hope. The books she found were all medical and she wanted to know how her life would change not just her health. She asked why didn’t anyone write a book about emotions, family, and hope? Now finally, with Martha and Loretta, she did. According to Neppie, a second chance at life is our gift from God. This book is our gift to all of you who are going through cancer. "Thank you to my daughters Shawn, Shannon, and Shelly and my grandchildren Hailey, Braden, and Garret for giving me the courage to live. I want to celebrate life. I feel my story is one of true love, from learning to love myself to sharing love with my husband, my best friend, while dealing with cancer." Diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago, Loretta Schultz says that her love of life, family, and friends is what enables her to endure the things she must in order to fight the cancer inside of her. Loretta has retired and is now limited to what activities she can do. Cancer and all the cancer treatments over the years have taken a toll on her body. But she still enjoys camping, fishing, photography, and the company of her family and friends. According to Loretta, "This is a war. Too many soldiers have lost their battle. I vow to keep up the fight until there is a cure for breast cancer or I too lose the battle, which ever comes first."