Do No Harm

DO NO HARM

She looked at me calmly. She was almost too calm. She had surrendered herself totally to her decision. There was no fear in her voice or in her eyes. She was resolved in her conviction to die. She got up from her bed and closed the door quietly, wanting privacy so no one else in the hospital would hear.

"Please help me die, Dr. Ohno. Please show mercy and help me die. I have asked you to stop giving me the anticancer drug. I can't take it anymore! I know you don't want to watch me suffer. Every time you inject me with this drug, I know you are also suffering as you watch me suffer. The other doctors have always ignored me while I struggled with the agony. But your eyes have always shown me such concern. You are the only doctor who has shown me such compassion."

When I decided that my patients were being given too much of a dangerous drug, I decreased the dosage. But other doctors on the staff would change my order and raise the dosage without notifying me, because they knew that would make them look good to the Chief of Medicine.

She continued to talk to me as if I were her son. She stopped and took another sip of her tea. During the silence, I started thinking about what she was saying. It was true that I was struggling and I was showing the fatigue from my internal battle. I was not sleeping well. As tired as I was, I would lie in bed, unable to sleep. Then I would get up and sit at my desk. I would think about her and how I could help her. I often thought to myself, "Why did I become a doctor?"

When I first became a doctor, I seemed to be able to find ways to help my patients. But now, instead of being a healer, I felt more like a murderer. I knew my struggle would continue if I didn't find a better way to help my patients like her, who continued to suffer the pain and indignity of a death that I was causing.

As I watched this woman collapse in sobs while she continued to plead, a part of me was dying. But I knew that I now had to present her with the cruel facts. I spoke to her with tears in my eyes, as honestly and kindly as I could.

"Your cancer has already metastasized through your body, even to your brain. I am sorry but I am recommending that you go to hospice because there is nothing more we can do. The damage is irreversible. The more chemotherapy you are given, the sooner you will die. This drug not only kills cancer cells, but also destroys the healthy cells. You need to stop because the side effects are worse and are causing too much suffering."

Just then the Chief of Medicine of the hospital entered the room. He must have heard me because he said, "Dr. Ohno, I will take care of this patient. I can help her. Please have this patient signed over to my care."

The Chief of Medicine looked firmly at the suffering patient and began. "Dr. Ohno is right, but I think I can save you with a new drug I developed. It is still in the experimental stage, but it kills only cancer cells and has no side effects"

His words were totally unexpected by her. Her expression went from despair to hope. She began to cry with tears of joy. The Chief of Medicine stood there with the same arrogant and smug look I had come to know since arriving at the hospital. However, despite the deep emotion of hope that filled the room, I was both sad and angry. I knew that his anticancer drug had very strong side effects and would cause this poor woman even more suffering.

This was the first of what was to prove to be many rude awakenings for me. After years of medical school and training, of struggling to find humane ways to treat people, I was now facing the grim reality of having to allow my superior to treat patients as though they were experimental animals. It was obvious that he had no empathy for terminally ill people. I wanted desperately to step in and disagree, but I knew it would be futile and would spell the end of my medical career.

As I watched my patients suffer in agony from taking anticancer drugs, I was experiencing my own torment as well. I was becoming consumed with the memory of my mother's words to me after my father's death. The memory of that tragic period of my life started to overwhelm me. My father was a very famous surgeon who died when he was 42 years old. He worked long and hard to keep his hospital operating at its peak. His dedication cost him his life. He died of an aneurism during surgery.

This book is about the times in my life when I had to encounter many struggles in order to gain greater insight and appreciation of the final outcome. While I report the horrors I experienced during my years of practicing medicine in Japan, I also show how I was able to find a way to answer the cries of despair of my patients. This was not easy. It required that I make a decision that would put me at risk and force me to leave my practice. But during this process, I learned to become a better doctor, more concerned about the welfare of my patients rather than the rewards of fame and fortune, which, unfortunately, have become the driving force of modern medicine.

I did not have to take this road. It would have been easier to follow the program and do what my superiors told me to do. I come from a very prominent family in Japan and have always had choices and opportunities. But the values given to me by my family led to my decisions, which, though distressing at first, brought me to what I believe is my destiny.

I believe that there has always been an invisible force within me, guiding my direction and encouraging me to discover my true calling in life. As I have proceeded on my journey, there is one principal factor that has continually surfaced. This factor is contribution, the act of giving to others, directly from one's heart. This affects not only the recipient, but something of equal importance: the essence of our being.

I also believe, more than anything else, that my mission to help humanity is derived directly from giving people the awareness of how vitally important contribution is to the soul of the benefactor. My vision has become a vehicle that can assist people to gain an understanding that, as they direct their energies to give of themselves with a pure and open heart, they will ultimately fill an emptiness that resides deep within their spiritual center.

Through years of study and experimentation in seeking better ways of delivering good health care, I found the significant interrelationship between health and nature, and its impact on the quality of life. The best example is our precious water supply. After you read this book, you will become more knowledgeable about water; all water is not the same. You will learn that the quality, content, and even the structure of the water in your body can make the difference between sickness and health.

In order to test this theory, I tested many water sources. While I was conducting research in Japan, I discovered a naturally magnetized water that was being used by a prominent physician with his patients suffering from serious diseases, many which I had also been treating. As I observed and studied these patients, it became apparent that this water was unique and had therapeutic benefits.

We think of the human body as con