Blood on Velvet and Other Short Stories

Blood on Velvet
(This here story is a test – if you get it – please explain it to me)
A STORY OF LOVE AND LUST..........

There he sat all alone in the crowd, at the Saturday night "All You Can Eat n' Drink Burgers n' Beer Buffet" at the local Dairy Princess. His crutches lay nearby, in easy reach – just in case someone with a grin n' snicker would say somethin' smart alecky like, "Hey Man, how's it hangin' man?" – (all the while, they would proceed to laugh at him), he thought, "they don't really give a damn, they don't really care how I'm hangin'. They can walk, they can make love to their wife and/or girlfriend," unlike himself because some damn Vietnam kid – that he had allowed to live threw a grenade at him – that ended his joggin' n' lovin' days (and nights) forever – besides he was only there at the Dairy Princess so that he could gaze upon, and dream of, the feel of Velvet. Ms. Velvet was the 14 1/2 year old woman-child, she of the big hair, Marilyn Monroe behind and ample cleavage – and still after all this time, she has his mind, body 'n' soul all wrapped up in Velvet (so to speak) – she of the great chest, child-bearing hips, (soft, curvy and the fullness thereof), all atop those gorgeous shapely and long legs – and those legs go all the way up – to there. Those legs that have wrapped around just about as many men as she has served burger n' fries to. All of that did not matter tho', to the town's local hero 'cause at one time she had been pure n' true blue just for him, saving all of her lovin' self for him alone (that is, except for Billy Bob or Joe Bob or Bubba Bob or – whoa!), while he was away fightin' those damn Commies – that is until he arrived back home without his manliness in tact. Upon his arrival, he had looked into those hungry and soft, lovin' eyes of Ms. Velvet and he said, with tears streaming down his face, "I will always love you" (lifted from a Dolly Parton song) – but I don't expect from you that of which I cannot give in return (my thang don't work no more) – so you are free . However I'd suggest that you charge something or maybe barter for something to love another or whomever you may so ever desire (and did she ever!). She loved another, then another, then another, then another, then (hold it for Pete's sake! We get the picture...) – And the menfolk did find her, by the pickup load. The word was out, "For a real good time, call Ms. Velvet at BR548" at all the hangout places, all over town, all over town! (I know it's a little redundant.)

Now finally, our story really (really!) begins, and it goes something (well, exactly like this)....