Stuff

My Baseball Strategy

I’m sitting in my desk in the ninth grade by the open window, and, suddenly, I realize I have an erection.

The window’s to my left and it’s a nice day outside. I know if I’m called upon to answer a question, I’ll have to stand up, by my desk, which is required, and which, because there’s no way of hiding that sort of thing, would be very embarrassing. So, I immediately picture a major league baseball park. It’s in the afternoon and I’m in the bleachers way up behind home plate. The batter lines one into right centerfield and takes off down the first base line. He rounds the bag and the outfielder cuts off the ball before it gets in the gap. The throw’s coming in, and it’s going to be close, but the runner slides in safely, feet first, at second base.