40 Days With God in the Garden

BITTER ROOTS In the garden of your heart, as in the vegetable world, you reap what you sow… A number of years ago, a soldierly row of spruce trees stood guard on the east flank of our farmyard. Like their British counterparts which guard the Queen's palace, they were indifferent to the sun, which cheekily shone down in winks, and unruffled by the wind, which whistled and moaned at times in a most alarming manner. Steady and true, they moved not a muscle in their regiment's stance. The years had not faded them. The cascades of time and space had their flints flung back at them by this solemn company. Then, inexplicably, the southernmost specimen, the largest and most robust of its kind due to its proximity to the end of the row where it had more luxurious elbowroom, faltered. Lost a step. Took on a sickly yellowish hue which was singularly unbecoming to one of its rank and stature. As the weeks passed, the sallow tint grew more pronounced. Almost imperceptibly, the pallor was handed down the row to the next resident, who hoisted it high and followed in the dangerous path of its brethren. By the time this perverse yellow stain had manifested itself in the third and then fourth spruce, my husband took action. "Looks like they're all infected. It would be far better to rip them all out and plant a new row, than to watch them slowly die and lose the time we could be putting into new growth," was his pronouncement. I agreed, but oh, what a hole it would make! And living here, where evergreen trees take an entire generation to mature, the blow was deep. Even if we replaced the faithful old regiment with a new planting, I would be a very old woman before their glory neared that of the originals. The trees came out. I couldn't watch. Sitting here now, I see some life parallels. I am reminded of a passage in Hebrews. "Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." (Hebrews 12:15) It makes me wonder what poison was drawn up in that first old tree's roots, that it would go on to steadily infect the entire community... You and I live and grow in community, too. Our roots are necessarily entwined with those of the loved ones around us. How easily one bitter root could dip into a poisonous pond, and infect the whole batch. How well God understands our function! He gently warns us of poison because He sees how many sources of the nasty stuff are lingering just beneath the surface of our lives. He knows just how easy it is for us to quench our thirst at that sour source. Life circumstances had poisoned my water supply - that was not my fault. It happens. But in reacting to the poison, I developed bitter roots. I cleverly hid a rock-bottom self-esteem from those around me - and also from myself. I had built a lifestyle, a habitat of habit, one self-insult at a time, until I reaped poisonous thought patterns, reactions, and behaviors. Strychnine that should have been cut off at ground level was not only tasted, but drunk to the dregs, until it inevitably surfaced in my trunk, branches, and foliage. God in His compassion noticed every sip. I know it grieved His heart to see His child greedily guzzle formaldehyde when His fresh, pure, bountiful fountain was full to overflowing and well within my reach. He has graciously instigated a path of healing for me which involves uncovering and destroying those roots of bitterness lying deep below the surface. I haven't enjoyed it. Some days I would rather just go back to the cup of poison because at least it is familiar territory. I would rather leave those painful roots undisturbed than do the heartbreaking work of seeking them out and digging them up. But I have come to the realization that the battle is fierce, and it is not only my heart's harvest that is at stake. Somehow, since I am connected deeply to my family and community of local believers, it is as much for their benefit as my own that I am well and functioning on as high and lofty a plane as God desires. As a group we are only as healthy as our weakest members... So 'look after each other'. Love deeply. And when you see telltale signals of a bitter root's yellowing, weakening blow, step in. Let God use you to support the walking wounded as they seek to uncover and rectify subsurface damage, freeing them to reap their full spiritual potential. The only way we will stand strong is together, unified. Roots entwined. Drinking from the sweet Source of all good, scorning the poison ever available to us. Leaning on each other, growing and developing a taste for all that is higher, better, purer, more heavenly. From bitter, to better, together...