The Marriage Recipe

🍴 Prayer creates an atmosphere where God can teach me, correct me and instruct me.

The Bible is my primary source for correction and instruction:

‘All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for [a]instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work- (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

              But the Bible doesn’t always give me specific instructions as pertains to my individual life- what I mean by that is that there’s no chapter and verse instruction for every detail of my life. For instance, I won’t find in the Bible the answer to ‘what colour I should paint my house?’ or ‘which part of town I should live? Will and should the Bible guide my decisions? Yes?!

Using the example of painting my house, while the Bible doesn’t say what colour my house should be, it does say I should walk in love towards others. So, if my landlord wants every flat uniformly painted beige on the outside, from the Bible I know, I shouldn’t go ahead and paint my porch bright red. And with regards, where to live, from scripture I know I shouldn’t be heading towards a part of town known for high rates of crime or debauchery. Why? Because, I wouldn’t want to expose my family to corrupting influences;

Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”- 1 Corinthians 15:33(NLT)

Sometimes though, it’s a bit more difficult to discern what the right thing to do is, sometimes because my emotions are clouding my mind, so I can’t see the way or simply because I just don’t know what to do. At times like that, praying helps. Praying gives God, the opportunity to speak to me- to instruct me and to correct me where needed.

One example comes to mind. My husband was traveling and somehow missed his connecting flight home. He was at the airport on time, and yet didn’t make it to the gate on time. The plane left without him. When he called to let me know, I was peeved; I kept asking, “How did that happen? How come you weren’t paying attention?” Then we lost the connection (I think he hung up on me), and I tried calling back, getting angrier and angrier that he wasn’t answering.

Finally, I just went to God ‘Lord, can you see what he’s doing? He’s not picking my calls! And here I’ve been waiting for him to arrive-- favorite dish prepared, all dolled up, and he goes and misses his flight! To top it up, he’s showing no concern about how I must be feeling right now…’ on and on I went The more I griped about it, the worst I felt. I thought I was praying, but what I was really doing was complaining and throwing a pity party for myself- more on that in a bit. Finally, exhausted, I said to God, ‘How do I make him understand how I feel, get him to put himself in my shoes?’

And, clear as a bell, the Holy Spirit said, ‘How about putting yourself in his shoes first’? Suddenly, I saw the situation differently My exhausted husband 

had just come off a fourteen-hour flight. He’d had to wait another four hours for his connecting flight, and he’d missed it. How frustrating that must have been! And there I was, nagging him, thinking only about myself. I wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me either.

I immediately sent a loving text to my hubby, telling him I was sorry for being so harsh, and that it was okay he’d missed his flight. I asked if he’d eaten--perhaps he’d want to check into a hotel and get some sleep and fly home the next day. And guess what? He called me right away. Turns out that all the time I had been calling and calling, he’d been at the ticket counter trying to get on another fight, and my calling was only adding to his frustration.

Prayer changed everything—but it wasn’t until I stopped complaining and started praying, asking God for wisdom, that He was able to instruct me and give me the tools to turn that situation around.

🍴 Prayer strengthens me and gives me peace.

Ever felt frazzled, weak, inadequate, worried and anxious? I have, time and time again I sometimes worry I’m not achieving a good work-life- balance, or about my husband’s safety- recently a close friend, slumped in his hotel room and by the time his wife was able to get the hotel staff to check his room after she’d been unable to reach him, he had passed on. That increased my fears about my husband too (he also travels frequently for business). Many things can press on me from time to time, threatening to rob my peace. But in the place of prayer I not only find the strength to overcome my challenges but also peace for my heart

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:9 (NLT)

That’s how I find peace, this peace is not as a result of me playing ostrich (burying my head and hiding from reality) but a knowledge I get in the place of prayer- what’s that knowledge? That God has got me covered- that with God I can deal successfully with ‘whatever’ How? That in God, I’ll get everything I need to overcome my challenges That’s how that peace comes…