Marley Was a Saint

This is part of one of many chapters in the book “Marley Was A Saint, The Story Of Diamond The Errant Labrador.” Chapter 12 Wild Teens It was a very cold morning in December, near to a record cold. The stalwart man of the house was traveling, so the kind lady of the house arose early to take Diamond for his sunrise walk. To her dismay, when she entered the garage, the good lady discovered that Diamond’s water bowl was frozen. Poor Diamond had spent the night in this frigid environment. With great sorrow and concern, the good lady let Diamond out of his cage and apologized for his mistreatment as she patted his head and rubbed his back. Diamond was his usual happy, frisky self, apparently having survived the cold evening very nicely. It was now time to venture outdoors, so Diamond could take care of his morning duties. The temperature was fourteen degrees and the wind was blowing at twenty-five miles per hour, not exactly a hospitable environment. Diamond’s first activity each morning as he emerged from the garage was to search for a drink of water out of a puddle, which puddles were very common in the Gorge in the rainy season, defined as October to June. So on this very frigid morning in December, Diamond set out to find some puddle water, delicately flavored with decaying leaves, pine needles and pine cones. As one might expect, all the puddles were frozen. Being a resourceful dog, Diamond was unconcerned, as he headed for the stairs leading down to the Columbia River. Diamond was oblivious to the blowing wind and cold temperatures, for undoubtedly he viewed these novel conditions as one more exciting experience in the life of a teen-age puppy. He proceeded down the dock stairs to the Columbia River and drunk heartily. In fact, it was fun, for the stiff breeze had kicked up waves two to three feet high coming into Snug Harbor. As he enjoyed his drink, the excitement of the river stimulated his memory. It had really been some time since he had enjoyed a swim in the river. So as the good lady huddled on the top of the bank, trying to keep from freezing to death, the frisky puppy climbed up on the dock, took a twenty foot run, and jumped off into the river. As the good lady of the house yelled fervently, the faithful puppy swam around in the river thoroughly enjoying himself. After he had had an invigorating swim, he climbed out of the river and ran up to the good lady and shook vigorously, sprinkling her with freezing rain. Diamond ran about a bit, but soon his coat was frozen stiff, so he relented and followed the good lady from the Stone Cottage into the garage. The good lady now had a hound whose coat had a texture roughly between that of a porcupine and an armadillo. As you might expect, she was not particularly pleased with the lack of judgement displayed by her faithful puppy. She went indoors, took out three towels and returned to try to dry the foolish puppy. Puppy, sensing a new form of entertainment, vigorously attacked and bit at the towels. Three wet towels later, puppy was partially dry, his master was partially wet, and both were cold. A new approach was necessary. The kind lady decided that a warm shower would be the answer. So the first lady of the Stone Cottage disrobed, and she and Diamond stepped into a warm shower. She viewed this as an opportunity to wash and warm up Diamond; Diamond viewed this as a new water sport. He barked loudly with excitement, which was really pretty terrifying in a tile shower. Diamond jumped and bit at the stream of water. He tried to leap up and bite the shower head. In his rambunctiousness, he knocked the glass shower door open several times. True to her mission, the good lady tried to wash Diamond with his special doggie soap. Frequently he would shake, liberally coating the good lady of the house with doggie soap. The upside of this experience was that the good lady was free of ticks and fleas, due to her extensive contact with the special doggie soap. At the end of Diamond’s shower, he was sparkling clean, with half of his dirt going down the drain, and the other half shook onto his faithful mistress. At this point, the kind lady decided it was now her turn to bathe, and so she asked Diamond to stand by patiently while she showered. Of course Diamond obliged, and he proceeded to bite at the bar of soap and lick the soap off her backside as she tried to complete her washing. Finally, mistress and her faithful puppy were clean as two new whistles. Diamond was dried down in the shower, and then he stepped out into the bathroom. He shook vigorously, revealing another couple of quarts of water which were uniformly distributed around the bathroom, including all four walls, the ceiling and the mirrors. A clean and partially dry dog was taken downstairs, where his drying was continued in front of the fireplace. Later that day, the kind lady of the Stone Cottage cleaned the shower, the bathroom, and washed six towels and two floor mats. Puppy regarded this as the most entertaining morning of his entire life! The kind lady of the Stone Cottage was looking in the telephone book to see if there were any nearby people who wash, groom and board large Labrador retrievers. That evening, the kind lady of the Stone Cottage ascertained that it was still quite frigid out, and she pledged to make her puppy more comfortable for the forthcoming night. Hanging on a hook over where her puppy slept was a sweatshirt belonging to the gentleman of the house. As her puppy prepared to climb into bed, she put his front legs through the sweatshirt arms and pulled the sweater over the puppy’s head. The dog loved the sweatshirt, and the comforting fragrance of his alpha master, who was traveling afar. This sweatshirt became the signature item of clothing for Diamond. When it was cold, he wore it to bed. Eventually it wore out and the arms were torn. He then wanted it put on top of him at night. When the sweatshirt was down to a small piece of cloth, Diamond would put his head on it at night. As it became smaller, he carried it around in his mouth, until one day he dropped it, and the piece of cloth was too small to find. The kind lady of the Stone Cottage.