Let’s face it – in the U.S. today – entertaining at home is either all or nothing. Either we go all out or we avoid the hassle altogether.
Do you remember going to someone’s house for a dinner party, and thinking about it a whole year later? We’ll tell you what you won’t remember. You won’t remember the food. You won’t remember the drinks. You won’t remember the decor. You will remember the ambiance and how you felt, with its intangible characteristics.
And that’s the trick - THE AMBIANCE.
What is an ambiance? An ambiance is the atmosphere (the five senses, the company, and the connection) and mood that you co-create and share with others over a meal. It is special. An ambiance is to a dinner party what water is to a fish. It is an experience you go away with and remember.
Ambiance is what this book is all about. It is a guide on how to create an atmosphere on a practical and psychological level, and how to relax while doing so. This is not a cookbook, or an etiquette book, or a French culture book, or a floral arrangement book, or a book on how to decorate. It is all of these elements put together to create that special experience. So by all means, keep your cookbooks and use them in tandem with this one.
When Francoise – Anne and Bahia’s mother – moved from Paris, France and first stepped foot in the U.S. in the early 1980’s, she was immersed into an American environment devoid of the gourmet shops or upscale supermarkets that are so widespread today. Her career took away much of her free time and she was frequently travelling back and forth between Paris and New York (and smuggling in plenty of cheese, pâté, foie gras and saucisson sec with her).
Francoise didn’t have much time to cook at home, let alone entertain, yet she always did! She regularly invited her new American friends to the house, all of whom had a great time, and who still remember these dinner parties thirty years later. Francoise did not have any special secret recipes or cookbooks, nor was she a particularly talented cook, but she had three tricks up her sleeves:
(1) She knew how to create an atmosphere.
(2) She knew how to organize herself even if time-squeezed.
(3) And most importantly, she always had a lot of enthusiasm.
Following suit, Anne and Bahia, both French, have lived in the U.S. for well over twenty years. This made us completely Franco-American and bi-cultural.
And one thing kept on popping up and intriguing us. Why did Americans make home entertaining such a big deal, while the French did not?
Because the French know and understand the three main ingredients to a successful dinner party: the ambiance, the preparation and the mind-set. This is an undying truism and formula that makes the guests comfortable regardless of their social class, age or income.
So why entertain at home?
You want to connect.
It is the most direct and effective way to connect with people and feel a true joie de vivre. In our virtual world of emails, texting, Facebook and Twitter, we are slowly but surely drifting into a no man’s land of virtual reality stripped of real intimacy and connection. In a society infused with materialism, the cost is often poorer interpersonal relationships.
Your family is important.
Even with our busy lifestyles, we can still meet in the evening for dinner, as a family. A daily family dinner creates greater communication, social cohesion, and replenishes us with doses of closeness. This, in turn, helps establish family traditions, which could be passed onto your children. Also, children learn about basic social skills right at home. You want them to be able to show their emotions, be outgoing, polite and communicative in life. What better way than to learn these skills at the dinner table?
You don’t want to gain weight.
Eating and entertaining at home teaches you, indirectly, how to eat. And that’s the key to weight management. Going out is always more fattening. The surrounding might be aesthetically pleasing and the food good, but you never know what’s really on your plate. Restaurants have no problem adding butter, oil, salt and bigger portions to your dish. At home, you can balance the calories and the nutritional value. You own it.
You don’t want to waste money.
In today’s gloomy economy, going to a restaurant or ordering take-out is always more expensive. Entertaining at home is more economical.
You want to “pay it forward.”
The more you entertain at home and have your guests enjoy themselves, the more your guests will be inclined to do the same. People will be less afraid and intimidated at the idea of inviting people into their homes and lives.
And lastly, but most importantly, because it is FUN.
You do not have to turn a dinner party into a small wedding by cooking everything from scratch, displaying an over the top table setting or buying an exquisite bouquet. It is not about being a perfectly perfect host in a perfectly perfect home with a perfect dinner. You can easily and joyfully create your own ambiance right at home, without turning into the Bridezilla version of a host or hostess.
If you’re interested in learning how to entertain the French way, here’s what we have for you.
This book has three parts.
The first part of the book delivers all the different ambiances that capture the richness and diversity of French culture. From Bistro, to Mon Cheri, to Marrakech up to the Mont Blanc!
The second part of the book covers all the psychological props that will help you get the right attitude completely stress-free; like how to be confident and charismatic.
The final part covers the ground rules to follow in organizing: table top setting, type of menu, as well as all atmospheric props like smell, touch, sound, sight and all around finesse.