My Husband Has Died, But That’s Not The Funny Part
When laughter and love overcome grief and loss
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Turning the tables to the plan initiated when Debra survived Dennis, well…bet your bottom dollar it was as long and detailed as any good plan could be. He discussed life insurance, paying off the house, any debt (there was none – thank you Dennis), what to do with his things in the garage, how to handle my retirement, the kid’s college, etc. Yes it was a step by step, instruction manual for “how Debra is to live without Dennis”. It was all very neatly laid out, it was all very well-orchestrated and in reality it went like clockwork and left us secure and safe which was his intent all along. That was him, the “man with the plan”, the guy in charge, the one that had it all figured out and had all the answers. What he didn’t tell me was what I was supposed to do about my broken heart. No, he never gave me a plan for that other than…”you are the loving and happy one Debra, you will meet someone in no time and love again.” Really? Is that how it goes? Just be happy and wa-la a wonderful man pops into your life and I begin again? There was a reason Dennis handled the logical side of things and I was President and CEO of “matters of the heart”. No, he never told me how to stop the tears, how to wake up and reach for him in the middle of the night for the 100th time and not become hysterical. He never prepared me for walking into a grocery store, seeing his favorite kind of ice cream and losing it in the frozen foods section. He never said that I would be holding back crocodile tears when I should have otherwise been smiling as our son graduated high school and basic training or our daughter went to prom and her own graduation and he wasn’t there to see it. He may have had all the answers to the important “administrative duties” (as he called them) in life but he could not counsel me of how to breathe without him in my arms at the end of each day. He took care of us like nobody ever could. For that we are all forever grateful and proud, but what he just failed to tell me was how I supposed to love a man like him, consider him my “entire world” and then somehow move forward to consider him “a part of my past”. This past year has been something that I never thought I would live through let alone even have to consider happening to me. While I always knew, for all reasons stated above, that it was a possibility I just chose to remain in my optimistic world and believe that modern medicine and new technology would make it all ok. I believed that there was no way God would let us go through all that we had to bring us to the point of finding each other, sharing a love like no other and then one beautiful fall day take it all away. I am thankful for his “instruction manual” and when the roof needed fixing, the mortgage needed paying, the dishwasher and washing machine broke down (on the same day) I just flipped through the pages of my manual entitled “What would Dennis do” and took immediate and decisive action. My job as I see it now is to write the pages of the “instruction manual” that Dennis left out. The part that is my area of expertise. The “matters of the heart” directives if you will. I would never say, “I won’t live to be 50” but I will say that when death comes knocking at the door and this time it’s me who answers, I want my children to know which chapter of the manual to read first.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Losing her husband Dennis unexpectedly in 2011, at the young age of 47, Debra was faced with handling grief in the only way she knew how, with strength, grace and much laughter. Debra worked through her tears by posting to her husband each day (for one year) on a social media website after his passing. She credits her “seeing the light of day” by sharing funny stories of their time together and walking through the pain, not alone, but with her ever growing unshakeable faith in God and the resounding love of many who have taken this journey each day with her. Through her stories, her daily blog (thehappywidow.com) and her posts she has used her distinctively unique humor, desire to honor the love of her life, and her ability to “tell it like it is” to inspire, lift, and encourage others in a way seldom seen. “Losing the one you love suddenly is like being put on a roller coaster ride (and I have always hated those). You rise slowly, fall fast, hold on for dear life, and scream not so nice words that you hope those around you didn’t hear. But when you get off this ride, while you may not want to buy another ticket, you are so proud of yourself for just being able to say you let go, threw your hands in the air the entire time and you indeed lived through it.” You will laugh, you will cry, at time you will pray you never personally know how she truly feels, but after you read this book that was written to her sweet husband Dennis and for her children Timothy and Sarah, you will believe that just maybe there is a way to face death and come out smiling.
About the Author
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Debra J. Blood, 48 years old, mother of two, was born and raised on Fisher Lake in Three Rivers, Michigan. Debra has lived most of her life in Jacksonville, FL and now resides in Easley, S.C. Debra is the proud mother of a young and handsome U.S. Army soldier Timothy David, and a beautiful and smart teenage daughter Sarah Jane. She spends her days working from home as a customer service agent for a corporate travel agency, taking care of her elderly mother, loving her four Labradors, and just “being a mom”. Life has allowed Debra to experience working as a 911 Dispatcher, Emergency room secretary, travel agent and being a loving wife and insanely proud mother. She has taken her experience with marriage, divorce, death, loss, single parenting, becoming a military mom and so many other life events and turned them into words to lift up others so as to make it through the “craziness” we call life. Writing has always been a passion but since losing her husband it has become a “survival tool” and what she calls “the cheapest therapy out there”. Making others laugh while giving them hope, helping people to see the humor, the love and the goodness of each moment we are given here on earth has always been her goal and she continues to do this daily on her blog, “thehappywidow.com”.