Why Dads Wear Pyjamas...

Picture Perfect

Photographs are wonderful things. They provide countless memories and act as a permanent reminder of days gone by. Digital, Polaroid or film the results are always the same – lasting happy memories. Even those amongst you who require encouragement to remove the memory maker from its case and click away with gay abandon will have no such hesitation when baby makes an appearance. Celebrities woes with the paparazzi pale into insignificance compared to the trials and tribulations endured by little junior when it comes to the photographic chase. For they are afforded the opportunity to conceal themselves behind closed doors or at least don some attire before the trigger happy snappers come calling, where as even the smallest dignity of poor baby is ignored, as they are filmed in every dress and situation, down to their birthday suit and bath time.

With each waking moment, the camera holders point their lens at baby from all conceivable angles. Even when junior is enjoying some sleep, they are not necessarily safe from the perils of a flash or two. From when baby enters the world until toddlerhood is over, there appears no relent from the camera lens. Parents are not the only guilty ones either when it comes to subjecting poor junior to endless camera flashes. Relatives and friends all join in to fully document baby’s first few months on planet earth.

When your first child arrives, an enthusiastic snapper ready to catch the moment for everlasting posterity meets every direction into which they stare. This invasion of baby’s privacy suffers further by virtue of most mobile phones including a decent camera. Since you always have your phone with you then there is always a picture available without having to unpack the expensive digital.

In short, we have pictures of our eldest doing absolutely everything imaginable from bathing to eating and walking to falling. Video clips further adorn our media collection and thus, the impression holds true that the possibility exists to replay, through still or moving media, his entire life up to this point. There is, of course, I believe no problem whatsoever with this approach. After all, every picture or video contains a thousand wonderful memories.

Your future problem (I say future because the error of your ways is not immediately apparent) occurs when baby number two arrives. All of sudden the novelty concerning our Polaroid friends and clicking thumbs has worn off a little. What once was second nature has now almost become a chore, and constant reminders to capture the moment are the prompts behind every picture. The result in the obvious lack of digital memories of baby number two and this is where the problem begins to materialise in your eyes. When baby two, three of even four is older how are you going to explain to them why there exists far less photographic evidence of their upbringing than of the eldest sibling?

Fortunately, there are solutions to the conundrum. We are currently considering two of these. Firstly, the option exists for us to set-a-aside of our morals, lie and tell our youngest that some (well, most actually) of his photographic history was deleted or lost. Alternatively, delete a great proportion of our first son’s photographs. The latter appears easier given there should be no requirement for a cover up later in life and would thereby probably rest easier in our conscience.

There is another way forward of course, and that is for us to pull up our proverbial socks, become organised and start shooting little Oliver like the film star we treated Josh as. Then, one day in the future, perhaps when they, like your children, bring home their respective partners and brood, you, like us, should have adequate ammunition for embarrassing them in equal measure. More importantly, your scruples will remain uncompromised in the knowledge that none of their digital lives suffered the editorial cutting floor akin to some Hollywood movie.