The Courtship of Life: Book I
Conversations with Thomas
by
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My own special life experiences taught me well. I grew up in the gracious atmosphere of pre-war Vienna surrounded by music, drama, art, and poetry. By the time I was ten, our family was rocked by the war as we emigrated first to Paris and then to the United States in 1941. I learned that no one place, or people, or time is perfect but that survival and happiness are a result of finding and sharing the best within ourselves, no matter where we happen to be. My soul sings praises to my father, always my best friend; his most complete lack of hatred. A physician and dentist by profession, he was a philosopher, humanist and poet at heart who shared his visionary way of looking at life on our daily walks. I learned to observe, to listen, to think and to learn at a very young age. I was doubly blessed; my mother was a true artist, a painter and violinist, who opened my artistic horizons. She inspired in me an appreciation of beauty in all its forms – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. My grandmother, a playwright and pianist, was also a very nurturing human being who gave me unconditional love, warmth, understanding and comfort. She taught me that these are the qualities that allow inner peace to bloom. From this strong beginning, I found continuity in quality living: My value system and good fortune guided me to choose a husband who was my mentor for 25 years. Ours was a true love affair; we lived side by side, loving, respecting and supporting each other in good and bad times. I realized once more that love, caring and sharing are the cornerstones of a satisfying quality life. And in my teaching, I found an endless supply of teachers to learn from – my students. I feel very strongly that we live in a time in which humanity is in danger of losing ground. To balance this loss, I offer what I call common sense wisdom, to guide both children and their parents – practical guidelines sprinkled with love and humor, to establish a grounded value system. I believe we can each learn to take an active, positive part in life if we follow three simple steps: First, we must learn to observe, listen and think before we act, to make the best possible choices based on the information at hand.
Second, we must be responsible for our actions. Finally, we must always consider the long term consequences as well as the short term outcomes of those actions. It is my hope that these "Conversations" will help parents, grandparents, friends, and all those involved in guiding children. Read these letters to the little ones in your life; feel free to adapt them to your situation – change the names, add your own special details – make them your own. Many of the letters ask for a response from the child; encourage them to write and draw and talk – and make sure you listen! After reading and discussing a chapter, invite your child to contribute his thoughts and reward him by having him sign one of the Signature Stars on page XXX. This will personalize the book for him and encourage him to become a creative participant. Perhaps you could even offer a treat for each signed star! Although I began writing these letters the month before my grandson was born, I didn’t actually begin reading them to him until he was almost three. I intend to read them again to him (and to his friends, if they would like) when he starts school. I believe the lessons will keep unfolding and we will be able to return to them again and again. Life can be a grand adventure when we approach it together and with love. May "Conversations with Thomas" nurture a sense of direction, a sense of honor, pride, joy, accomplishment, wonder, quest and peace in the hearts of your special little ones as well as in your own life. This is the gift I wish for my grandchild, and for all our children.
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About the Book
Every adult – parent, grandparent, or friend – who takes the time to court the children in their lives will discover an inner joy. I believe life’s possibilities and opportunities are endless. My aim is to present an ongoing method for open-door conversations and negotiations between parents and children that will empower the child to taste life to the fullest. Hodding Carter said, "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children: One of these is roots; the other, wings." This book offers roots, so that each child can use them with self-esteem and confidence to try his wings and fly. I wrote this book to begin a dialog with my first grandchild. I wanted to help him find viable options in questionable situations, and so spare him some of the fear, anguish, and guilt that life often presents to children today. I also wrote this book out of my own need to share some of the important actualities I have come to know and believe, to give parents and grandparents, friends and mentors everywhere some support in the vital task of cultivating and nurturing healthy children. This book presents a joint effort for adult and child – for the adult, the deep satisfaction of seeing the face of a child who is loved; and for the child, a fun way to learn deductive and problem-solving skills, values, social skills and manners. For the past forty years, I have taught foreign languages to high school students in California and Oregon. Teaching has been my passion, and I have also learned continuously from my students and from their parents. I’ve learned that life is continually shifting its balance between positive and negative events, and that it is a rare person who can face both calmly and gracefully without a strong background of coherent values, a strong self-image, and a clearly understood method for applying those values in the real world. This is the job of parenting, and it is neither easy nor instinctive. Over the years, I’ve interviewed literally hundreds of parents ñ from doctors to farmers to artists, from every religious and cultural background – to learn what they want to know about raising their children. I came away from those interviews certain that what they all wanted was to give their children the best possible values to meet today’s challenging world. I became convinced that everyone could use some help, and I was prompted right then and there to contribute my ideas toward a better tomorrow for all our children.
About the Author
Amélie Diamant Holmstrom is an author, a grandmother, a teacher, and a force of nature! Filled with energy and optimism, full of hope and strength, she has been a high school teacher for more than thirty years. Today, in her seventh decade, she still pulls standing ovations from high school classes as a substitute teacher. Please reread that last sentence, since it is really true: today’s jaded, ultra-sophisticated high school students actually stood up and cheered their substitute teacher. She is definitely not ordinary! As she awaited the birth of her first grandson, she knew that the life he would face would be filled with challenges, and she wanted to "establish communication with him through wisdom, common sense, and magic." Author of a series of well-received French language textbooks, Amélie has written Conversations with Thomas as her first book for the general reader – but definitely not her last! It is the author’s plan to write future life-empowering books under the umbrella name The Courtship of Life, and to form a club and eventually a Center for the Courtship of Life.