Things were finally starting to get back on track, and it really looked as though the place could survive without us for a few weeks. I had suggested a vacation to Kiri, and the belated discovery that I had inadvertently left several CDs in my cubicle file cabinet back in Fontana, California suggested a possible destination for our sojourn. At first Kiri had been reluctant, but when I pointed out that she hadn’t had a vacation since she’d died she finally agreed. Our plans were soon expanded to include Senaria and Rann, although Gelhinda sorrowfully declined due to several important diplomatic meetings. We eventually reached the point where only Valkar had any remaining objections.
"But your Majesties," he had wailed in dismay, "you surely can’t go all the way to Earth without at least a bodyguard. Those people are savages. They give firearms to children. At least think of me. If something happened to you the people would hang me from the nearest lamppost."
"Look," Kiri finally burst out in exasperation, "in the past fifteen years the only people that have seriously tried to harm me have been my own father and my sister-in-law, and they’re both dead. Unless you count Will, here, there isn’t anyone left who’s sufficiently closely related to me to want to kill me. So what the hell do I need a bodyguard for?!" The unfortunate fellow was, however, not to be denied, although after several months back in our service he had justifiably learned to be wary of her temper.
"Very well," she had finally acquiesced. "But only on condition that I shall choose the bodyguards."
"Your wish is my command," said the ancient major domo gratefully, prostrating himself (I hate it when they do that) while falling directly into the trap.
"Then," announced Kiri imperiously, "I hereby appoint Parkor Rann and Amkor Senaria as my royal bodyguard...assuming, of course, that they are willing." Judging from the beams of astonished delight she received from the two, it was quite evident that they were.
Valkar’s earlier dismay was nothing compared to his expression now. "But they’re only children, your majesty," he protested weakly, then a moment later winced as he found Senaria’s sword point at his throat.
"Senaria, that will do," I snapped, although even I had to admire how neatly she had accomplished the move. (In fairness to her, I should mention that it was a practice blade, with a rounded point and no sharp edges, and Valkar knew it perfectly well.)
"I am not a child," she hissed as she reluctantly put away her weapon.
"I second the Empress’ decision," I added in my most authoritative voice. "A deal’s a deal, right, Valkar?"
"Yes, Your Majesties," he agreed reluctantly and hastily made his exit, shooting an annoyed glare at Senaria as he did so. After informing her that she would write him a sincere letter of apology within the hour or the deal was off, we dismissed her and Rann as well.