Real Cops Don't Pay For Lunch
by
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Anyway, my corporal, my partner, and I all arrived at this call at the same time. My partner and I started toward the back of the residence to check for any sign of an intruder. We saw a chair pushed up against a window in the rear of the house in the same area in which the dog was chained. There were fresh pry-marks on the rear window. The dog was going nuts because my partner and I were invading his territory. There were woods and a field farther back into the back yard. A check of the immediate area showed no threat of danger, so we put our flashlights under our chins and walked toward the dog, growling as we approached.
The dog was not appreciative. I learned that dogs can pull picnic tables across yards if provoked and almost twisted my ankle trying to get away. This caused my partner to begin laughing and suddenly realize that he had to urinate. In his pants would not be a first choice as far as where this act would be performed, so we walked back into the back yard further - back to the woods. We had to search that area yet, anyway, so I continued searching further, because I thought I heard something moving in the woods.
My partner, meanwhile, had stopped to relieve himself. I started across the field in the direction from which the sound had come. My partner, after taking care of the more urgent business at hand, caught up with me. As we walked, we heard the soft rustling of leaves above us because it was fall and there was a slight breeze in the cool November night.
Then, we almost heard the sound of an owl dying from a 9mm. gunshot wound because he had the unfortunate occasion to decide he was going to take off just as we got to the area beside and under his branch. I only managed to reach for my gun, being a little slower than most. My partner stopped just short of taking aim and blasting the nocturnal little darling into his next life.
Undaunted by this recent event, we continued. Actually we were more amused than undaunted, but we continued our search, anyway. The corporal asked where we were. My response was "I have no idea, but we're walking southeast from the residence and we're back in the woods. I think we’ll be coming out onto
It was pretty cold, about 28 degrees, and I've never been big on hiking. Neither was my partner, who had left his coat in his car and was now bitching profusely about his lack of intellect in doing so. As we came out of the woods onto
"I hope I left my keys in the car. If I didn't, the only key to car 2 is in these woods somewhere, and I'll never find them.”
We got back to the car and searched for the keys. Unable to locate them, we began to retrace our steps to try and find them in the complainant's back yard. Again, the dog lost it's mind. Again, we did the flashlight routine. This time, the dog failed to stop as his rope ran out and he did a beautiful half-gainer at the rear of his dog house.
It's hard to search for anything at night when your flashlight is going dim and you’re laughing to the point where you’re almost crying.
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About the Book
Law enforcement has evolved greatly over the past many years, and that’s not just in reference to the myriad of newer, better, quicker forensics to help investigate and solve crimes. It’s referring to basically everything involved in law enforcement from the uniforms to the cars to the working conditions, assignments, rank, etc.
Basically everything that is except the people who actually do the job. Over a total of near 20 years, the police officer is still in the ‘Cro-Magnon’ stage of development. There are some who have progressed further than others, but the ‘higher life forms’ in the job tend to somehow avoid rank that seems reserved for the non-evolved.
What happens in a day in the life of a police officer? Much of it is probably not at all what the average citizen thinks. Not by a long shot. Real Cops Don’t Pay For Lunch tries to outline “…a day in the life…” honestly (sometimes embarrassingly so), clearly, and often amusingly.
The guy who couldn’t complete a sentence when he was stopped for speeding because “…someone just called my wife – AND THEY JUST HUNG UP!”
Another somewhat eccentric gentleman who was horrified to find he had a pocket full of change and proceeded to disburse said change across three of the six lanes of the highway he was on.
Neither of them got a ticket. Several women who opted for the crying routine, however, were ticketed.
None of this yet even takes into account the brass and the caste system in place at many police departments; brass who have committed atrocities that fully earned them that hunk of limburger cheese on their manifold. This was completely unbeknownst to them, of course, but it certainly delivered the message.
Real Cops covers all this and more. Barney Miller watch out!
About the Author
Leonard Miller isn’t. For reasons that began as ‘perceived necessity’ and are currently ‘just because,’ it’s a pseudonym. The owner of the pseudonym has just shy of two decades experience in law enforcement, a Bachelor of Science degree in Law Enforcement, and seven years of experience teaching college courses in the Criminal Justice curriculum.
The Bachelor degree in Law Enforcement almost shared ‘Major’ status with Journalism. The latter being three credit hours short of major status, Journalism ended up being the minor course of study.
Throughout a law enforcement experience that saw the rank of patrolman, records officer, investigator (which was a detective without the rank, pay, or shiny badge), evidence officer, photo technician, juvenile officer, and sergeant, writing remained a constant freelance hobby. Leonard hasn’t ever had a book published before, but has been a publisher writer for many years.
Caught in a sort of limbo in life and the chosen profession due to several issues; around this time, not many police officers would admit to being avid rock fans. He not only admitted it, but played in a couple of rock bands during this tenure.
Due to that association, because he failed to see the absolute requirement to arrest anyone and everyone who found themselves in violation of some law somewhere, accusations of “You don’t want to arrest your buddies.” flew.
Not being one to back down, this led to a downward spiral. John Mellencamp said it best; “I fight authority – authority always wins.” In the long run, that’s probably right. But if you don’t do what you believe to be the right thing to do at any given time, that’s something you can regret for a long time.
Or should.