Regarding an Angel's Flight

Excerpt from Chapter One

Austin poked at his boiled carrots with a fork and cocked his head. "You know," he said. "I've been listenin' to your sermons all my life, and I never really thought about 'em much. But I just started wonderin' 'bout some stuff I cain't figure out."

"Like what?"

"Well, like... Was Adam and Eve what they call... Neanderthals?"

"Whatta you talkin' 'bout?"

"Well, in school, we seen these pictures of the earliest people. And they looked kinda like half ape and half human, and they lived in caves and wore animal skins'n all."

"Oh, them!" said Barney. "That was niggers. See, when Adam'n Eve was casted outta the Garden of Eden, I 'speck they did have to live in caves for awhile 'cause The Lord, he said they'd hafta live by the sweat o' their brow. But see, after Cain kilt Abel The Lord cursed him and turned him black and run him off to the Land o' Nod. That there was what we call Africa. So them ape men you talkin' 'bout is all descendants of Cain. But us white folks come directly from Adam."

Austin thoughtfully digested this information and scratched his head. "Well then what about dinosaurs?" he asked. "Where'd they come from, and where'd they go to?"

"Well," shrugged Barney, "The Lord made 'em durin' creation week, like all the others, I reckon. And they was a big problem too," he said, warming to his subject. "Ol' Adam, he'd plant hisself a garden and them dadgum dina-sewers would git into it and go stompin' 'round and eat it all up. But, o'course, they all got drownded in the flood."

"But how come they got drowned?" asked Austin. I thought Noah saved all the animals."

"Well, not all of 'em," said Barney. "See, them dina-sewers wuz too big to git on the boat. And some other animals wuzzn't worth savin' anyways. So that's whut all them bones is that you see pictures about that they call 'extinct.'"

"Well if Noah only saved the good animals, how come he saved all the rats'n flies'n 'skeeters'n roaches with all them disease germs'n all that stuff?" Austin countered.

Barney took another bite of pie and chewed it thoughtfully. "Well, see, while Noah was tendin' to the good animals, some o' them other'ns snuck aboard while he wasn't lookin'. The ol' devil tol' 'em there was a flood a-comin', so he helped to save 'em. And once the ship was a-floatin', they come out, an' you shoulda saw ol' Noah," laughed Barney. "He was runnin' around with a broom swattin' at them roaches'n stuff, fit to be tied."

"Ok," said Austin. "So where'd all that water come from and where'd it go to?"

Barney was beginning to lose patience. "It come from The Lord, of course. The Lord, he just said let it rain to beat the band for forty days and forty nights, and it done so."

"You mean the entire planet was nuthin' but solid water?" asked Austin.

"'At's right," Barney sniffed, taking a sip of coffee. "'At's how come you got all them fish bones'n sea shells up on mountain tops."

"So where'd all that water go?" Austin pressed.

"Well it jist 'vaporated, of course," said Barney, beginning to frown.