Your Post-Divorce Journey Back to Yourself (For Men)

A Guide to Healing from Divorce

by Daryl G. Weinman



Book Details

Language : English
Publication Date : 7/31/2017

Format : E-Book
Dimensions : N/A
Page Count : 162
ISBN : 9781546201694
Format : Softcover
Dimensions : 5x8
Page Count : 162
ISBN : 9781546201700

About the Book

No one walks into a marriage thinking that it will end. Spouses talk about their futures together, growing old together, where they may want to retire, places they want to visit someday, their hopes and dreams and goals for themselves and for each other. When the marriage ends, there is generally a feeling of failure that goes along with it. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and we all know that we have to work at it to keep it together. If it ends, does that mean we didn’t work hard enough? Didn’t try hard enough? Didn’t do enough to keep our spouse happy? What went wrong? Why couldn’t I make it work? Why couldn’t I fix the problems? These feelings are so common, especially among all of the overachievers out there who believe they can accomplish anything and fix anything if they just try hard enough. Recognize that life is not fair and accept that reality. However, also recognize that sometimes it is not fair in your favor. Imbalance sometimes tips toward you and sometimes away from you. Don’t dwell on the times when it feels like the world is against you; instead celebrate the times when everything seems to be going your way. Take responsibility for your own happiness. If anyone intrudes on your happiness, recognize that it is your own fault for allowing it to happen. No one can make you feel any particular way—you control your own feelings and reactions. You choose how you will handle any particular situation. You can wallow in self-pity and wither away, or you can learn from a negative experience, grow from it, and become a better, stronger, and happier person. Accept responsibility for your own future; it is all on you now, and if you don’t take responsibility for it, no one else will.

About the Author

I grew up in New City, NY, the oldest of three sisters. I graduated from Clarkstown North HS in 1984 and went to Colgate University. I didn’t know what to do after college, so I started my own computer graphics company out of my apartment, while also working part-time for my father’s Hardwood Flooring company. After a year and half, I had a few clients, but wanted some regular work. I landed a job on Wall Street with J.P. Morgan in their Mergers and Acquisitions Department doing graphics and presentation support. While there, in the fall of 1990, I started law school at night at New York Law School. After a year on Wall Street, I decided that Wall Street, NYC and Corporate America were not for me. I wanted to be in a place that was not as cut-throat competitive, that was slower, friendlier and warmer. I also wanted to focus on a more personal type of law than corporate. My parents were divorced when I was 14, and even though it was an amicable divorce it had a strong impact on me. I decided that I was much more suited to family law and that became my focus in school. I stayed three more years in NY, before choosing my new home in Austin, Texas, in the summer of 1993. I did my last semester of law school at the University of Texas in Austin. One of my courses at UT Law School was a clinic where I acted as student attorney in Child Protective Services cases. During one of those cases, I met an attorney, KC Anderson, who later became one of my closest friends. At that time, I also started looking for a job. In December 1993, I was hired by a prominent family law attorney as his first associate, who told me to study hard for the bar (that I was registered to take in February 1994) and to start work on March 1. Sadly, while I was studying for the bar in January, that attorney passed away and I never got the opportunity to work with him. I took the bar in both NY and Texas in February 1994. While I was waiting on my results, I began looking for work again. I sought advice from a local judge who I had appeared in front of as a student attorney. She surprised me and told me that I should open my own practice. I couldn’t imagine going out on my own straight out of law school, but she encouraged me and told me that she had confidence in me. I passed the bar in May 1994 and decided that I had nothing to lose by trying it on my own, so I did. KC and her husband (who was a prominent criminal attorney) and their friends helped me tremendously. They sent me small cases and they mentored me and advised me every step of the way. I know that I could not have done it without them. In April 2004, my stepdaughter, came to live with us full-time, making me a full-time mother / step-mother of three children. In 2011, I went through the unfortunate experience of divorce myself. It gave me new perspective in my practice. Although I thought I understood the emotions involved, I learned that I couldn’t truly appreciate the roller coaster of emotions that are involved, nor the long-term healing process until I had to experience it for myself. It was much more difficult than I had ever imagined. I have found that each experience in my life has given me new perspective. Although I deal in all aspects of family law, the primary focus of my practice is on divorce and/or custody cases. When I first began as a family law attorney, I had the perspective of the child of divorced parents. Then when I married, I was able to add in the perspective of what married life is like — how it takes work and can be difficult at times. At the same time, I became a part-time stepmother — these experiences helped me come come up with creative solutions for my clients. After having lived through the emotional roller coaster of divorce myself, I have one more common experience. With all that I have experienced, I can offer realistic advice on what my clients can expect during and after divorce. I can now also present my cases in court from a very personal perspective