I am a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA).
I love words, written, spoken, and unspoken.
For so many years my voice was not heard, I expressed myself through my writing.
As soon as I was able to read and write, I immersed myself in books. I was able to escape through the writings of others and eventually through my own attempts.
Writing enabled me to express the pain, and the shame, of what I experienced. It later helped me to cleanse myself, to heal through the medium of writing.
I seem to have lived an early life surrounded by abuse of some sort. At a very early age, I was sexually abused by my grandfather. This went on for about twelve years.
Others were invited to use me as they wished. There was also mental, emotional, and physical abuse from other family members.
My body was almost broken, my mind fractured, but no one seemed to notice. I grew up thinking it was my fault, I deserved it.
Male survivors live within a society where a stigma surrounds the abuse of boys. It took me a long time to find my voice, to be able to share the horrors that tormented me for over three decades. I hope my words help you to understand.