Things My Heart Has to Say

I slipped in the bathroom and pulled out this midnight blue blouse with one long sleeve and one strap. The shirt stopped right above my navel, so when I turned my back to the crowd, the audience would get a clear look at my new tattoo. I also pulled out my favorite pair of black slacks that flowed on my hips just right. When I came out of the bathroom, the boys were waiting patiently for me and informed me that it was time to do my thing. I peeked outside and saw that Roots was already two-thirds full and many of the customers were sitting in seats facing the stage and reading the back of my CD. I also saw several photographers snapping away and a couple reporters seated in front with their notepads and pens poised and ready. The whole scene made me a little nervous and felt so surreal. I swallowed my angst, went back into the manager’s office and joined hands with everyone as Mr. Crews led the prayer. “Most gracious Father, we thank you for allowing us once again to be in your presence. I thank you for the tremendous gift that you have blessed Aqua with and I ask that you bless her today as she takes the stage. Do not allow nervousness to enter her spirit but allow her to be comforted in the fact that the Holy Spirit is within her and has not given her a spirit of fear. I thank you for the safe arrival of everyone in the bookstore and I ask that You watch over those who are still en route. I pray You will bless everyone involved in this project, Father, from the store manager, lighting technicians, musicians and patrons of the store. Now, bless this performance and speak through Your daughter as she delivers Your message to Your people. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.” “Amen,” we all said in unison. Mr. Height walked to the microphone and waited until the crowd settled before he introduced me on stage. “Ladies and gentlemen, I know you did not fight through traffic just to see me talk. First, thank you all for visiting Roots. Whether this is your first or 15th visit, we consider you family and hope you’ll come back to see us. The woman you are here to see is a beautiful, magnetic, talented and honest person who I’m sure will captivate your hearts. Please give a warm Roots welcome to, Aqua!” The band started to play a jazzy rendition of “Brown Eyed Girl” by Tevin Campbell, a song that has always held a special place in my heart. I sauntered up to the microphone and gingerly touched my crown of locks. While the crowd politely clapped for me, I pulled off the locks that framed my face. I heard the crowd collectively gasp as I stood there with a freshly shaven head. My real hair was incredibly short under the locks and made for a modest afro. The night before, I shed my beautiful locks that had taken me years to grow. I didn’t want to start my career as the stereotypical female spoken word artist. I knew people would expect me to have locks or a headwrap and were waiting to hear me talk some Black power stuff. But I am anything but typical and I told the crowd just as much. I dived into this poem called “Living Outside the Box,” that I wrote last night and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. “I hope you all didn’t expect to hear some Mother Earth type stuff today because this is not my style,” I said to a chuckling crowd. “This is the real me, in all my shaven glory and I hope you all will leave here feeling inspired, enlightened, and invigorated.”