REmembering BECCA

February 13th, 2009 (I’m not very good at cooking breakfast) I wake up every morning and my options are already limited. The only things that I know how to cook are breakfast foods, which does not leave me with a very diverse array of options. I can cook eggs, toast, and cereal, and that’s it. I like to call it my etcetera breakfast options (etc., eggs, toast, and cereal, get it?). They’re the only foods that I have to choose from, but I’m always open to adding more to my repertoire. That is, if I ever decide to get off of my lazy ass and learn how to make some pancakes. How difficult could that be anyway, I mean, they’re just cakes in a pan. Anyway, I haven’t been the happiest person lately, and breakfast just always reminds me of why I’m so frustrated with my life. I’m not skilled at much, and so I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere in life. I think that I know how to get to where I need to be though, but the problem is that it may take a while. I think the key to life is love. Yeah, maybe that sounds corny, but it’s just what I believe. Everyone believes in something ridiculous to keep them going each and every day. The movies always make it out to seem that you’ll feel something special when you’re with the love of your life, and I think that’s true, but I also think that I might be romanticizing as to just what that feeling is. Laugh at me for this if you must, but I believe that when you’re with the love of your life, you feel what the meaning of life is. It won’t be written in words or anything blatantly obvious like that, but it will simply be an incredible feeling, and one that can only be felt once you have fully committed yourself to the true love of your life. I don’t know, I guess that sounds a bit crazy, but it’s just that everyone makes love out to be the most important thing to find in life, and so it would make sense that there would be some clear, magical sign to signify that you have truly found it, such as discovering your own personal meaning to life. I guess, aside from the fact that I romanticize true love to a ridiculous degree, that my problem is that while I know that I want to find love, in order to find myself, I know that I don’t really know how to yet. Sometimes I think that my lack of cooking skills symbolizes my unwillingness to open up, and try new things. If I’m ever going to find true love, I’m going to have to learn how to be more open. I’m going to have to learn how to open my heart.