Feathers from Heaven
by
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As Mother’s Day drew closer, my tears increased. I asked myself how, how can my grief change? For others it seemed easy, it seemed so easy that life just continued on. Meanwhile I stood frozen, suspended in a world that didn’t change, suspended in a world that contained nothing but sadness and emptiness. I prayed to God, “Help me find an answer, help free my soul of this pain. God help me.” Of course He answered right away because the next thought in my head was, “Why not honor her?” Yeah, that’s it. That’s the answer I have been searching for, yeah sure, honor her.
Mother’s Day morning was warm, sunny and beautiful. I woke up just as the sun was coming up. I made myself a cup of coffee and headed to the backyard to read the paper. Soon I got dressed and packed my car with all the kites I own. I headed off to the place where I fly kites, which is just five miles from my home. It is a big park where the school kids play sports, or in the winter, kids sled down the hill. The hill isn’t that big, just right for a person of my age and size to climb without difficulty.
I removed three kites from the trunk of my car, tucked them under my arm and headed off for the hilltop. I found myself to be the only person at the park so early on this beautiful day. Step after step I quickly reached the hill top. I chose to fly the kite with the brightest colors just as Mom would have.Within thirty seconds the kite was ready to fly. All I had to do was hold it up to the wind, my angels carried it far into the sky. It was a beautiful morning. The sky was baby blue, not one cloud stood in the way from me to Heaven. I sat on the hill with my legs crossed, my right hand held onto the kite string.
I looked up at the kite, which was now about two hundred feet in the sky. I took a deep breath, looked down. I took another deep breath, I looked skyward. I said, “Happy Mother’s Day Mom. I’m here to honor you today. I’m flying this kite for you, I hope you like it. Mom, I can’t keep crying each day, my heart is so broken without you, my world is cold and dark. I can’t keep living like this so I asked God for help. He answered me with the thought of doing something special, like flying this kite. Remember how we enjoyed this? Remember that silly bug kite I once had? Remember how much fun we had? I do. Remember that Mom? Remember all those special moments we shared?” I started to cry, the tears flowed down my face as I cried harder. I tried to glance up at the kite but couldn’t, I just kept my head low, blowing my nose and wiping away my tears.
I took a deep breath and said, “Mom, I hope you’re happy in Heaven. I know you are because you tell me so in my dreams. I hug you in my dreams, I see your wonderful smile, and I see your wonderful bright eyes in each dream. I can smell you in my dreams, Mom. I hate waking up Mom, you know that. I hate this world without you. You know what I’m going through, you helped me the day you sent me that feather. That wonderful feather on my shirt, did you see me cry Mom? I know you did. In that moment I knew you were happy in Heaven. Mom, you told me to cry for only three days, then move on with my life after you die. Well, Mom, it’s not that easy. I’m trying, I’m trying Mom, I’m trying so hard. That’s why I’m here today, for you.”
I took another deep breath and screamed, “Damn it Mom, damn it Mom I want you here with me! Damn it, Mom, come back, tell God to send you back! Tell him to send you back for just five minutes, tell him to send you back for one minute, tell him I need a hug, a kiss, tell him to send you back for five seconds, that’s all, just five seconds. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you!” I started to cry, I cried uncontrollable. My body shook, I gasped for a breath, then gasped for another. I stood up, my tears fell to the ground. I looked skyward. I said, “Okay God, I get it. She’s not coming back, not even for five seconds. I get it; this is how the rest of my life is going to be. I’ll have to deal with it, in my own way, on my own terms. Be it flying this kite and crying like a nut, I get it.” I took a deep breath, in that breath I felt anger leave my soul, my heart suddenly felt lighter.
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About the Book
In 1964, at the age of six, Melinda suffered a fractured skull during a bicycle accident, where she had a near-death experience. She met her angels, but they sent her back to Earth, saying it wasn't her time. She knew then that life here ends, but continues on in a different realm. Decades later, she had a pact with her mother. They shared a special sign: a feather. If either of them died, they would send the other a feather, to show they made it to Heaven.
When her mother died in 2003, her life was turned upside down, suddenly shattered into a million pieces. Her best friend was gone. But Melinda felt comforted every time she found an unexplainable feather she knew was sent by her mother.
Melinda learned that death changes everything, but not always for the worse. From her mother's death, she grew closer to her father, a man she knew little about. Though her mother's death seemed unbearable, she and her siblings took care of their father, even as he began to slow down from old age.
Her father languished in a hospital bed following a quadruple bypass surgery in 2006, lingering for months but never recovering. One day he told Melinda that her mother visits him when she and her siblings go home. He said she was mad they wouldn't let him go, wouldn't let him travel to Heaven. After that moment, Melinda and her siblings knew it was time. He died two days later.
About the Author
Melinda Fabry was born in 1958 in the baby boomer generation, when every family had a ton of kids. She lived in a tiny home with a twin brother, two sisters, and her parents. An ordinary kid with an extraordinary experience that changed her life forever, she grew up to become a wife and mother of two sons.
She had a special relationship with her mother. They were best friends that shared an exceptional bond and closeness. Melinda was always there for her, and her mother was always there for Melinda. They were two peas in a pod, because Melinda knew that one day, her mother wouldn't be there anymore.