Betrayed Trust

For most of the trip, my father was quiet.  He seemed to be in deep thought and kept his thoughts to himself.  He was normally gregarious, but this time he seemed depressed.  He wanted to be left alone.  At one point, I wanted to ask him about the weird, flat-topped geological elevation that formed conspicuously above the desert floor.  I was sure that he could explain the cause of the odd formation, which looked like a mesa or a butte.  He had an interest in geology and I knew he had the answer.  But, I did not ask him, because I was taught that it was impolite to disturb elders. So, I decided to wait and before long I decided to wait and before long my father turned to Tosh and me with a hand-rolled Bull Durham cigarette in his hand and started to talk.

In the past, he frequently talked about our future and goals and gave us advice and guidance, but never about himself or about family affairs.  This time, he spoke with deep emotion and heated intensity, not holding anything back.  He was serious.  He wanted us to understand what was going on and what the future might hold for us.  It was a lengthy monologue that had a lasting effect on my outlook on life in general and on my view of myself as a Japanese-American.  Even to this day, I can clearly remember his talk, maybe not the exact words, but essentially, he said:

Toshikazu, Motomu, listen to me well for I want you to remember this day, this moment, this talk I am going to have with you. I want you to listen and pay attention because I do not intend to say this again.  Both of you are still too young to fully understand what I am about to say, but I want you to listen carefully and remember.  Maybe, one of these days, long after today, you will remember this day and recall what I say here. 

I have been thinking about our situation. It does not look good.  We are on our way to Topaz.  We do not know what lies ahead of us, but we must be prepared. 

When the war started, I was immediately classified as an enemy alien, arrested by the FBI and taken to Oakland for interrogation.  They asked me many questions about my activities as a teacher and community leader and what I would do if they released me.  I told them, as a Christian, I believe in God and will do what God wants me to do and that is to help my people, the Japanese in my community, to endure this war peacefully and quietly and obey the orders of the government.  I told them that I will not cause any trouble and that the welfare of my family and my community comes first.  America is my family’s country, and I would not do anything that would hurt their country or endanger their welfare.

I told them the Japanese in America do not want to choose sides.  They want to be left alone and live peacefully and make no trouble.  They will do whatever the authorities tell them so that they can help win the war.  I told them we are not dangerous people.  We are peace-loving people and America is our home.  We have children here and we work hard for our children.  It is for the children’s future that we stay in America.  Our children are American citizens.  They are loyal Americans and they will fight for their country.  The Issei will all support their children.  If the children go to war, the Issei will stay home and pray for them.  We want them to fight honorably, courageously and not bring shame to their family.  They must and will fight for America.  I know that.  We have brought up our children to love and respect America.  After a short while they released me and said go back to your community and tell the people to stay calm and continue to work hard on the farm and help the war effort.

You, Toshikazu and Motomu, are still too young to become soldiers, but you must do whatever is necessary to help.  The war may last a long time and you may become old enough to join the Army.  When that time comes, you must go and fight for your country.  That is your duty.  A good samurai fights for honor, for home and for family.  That is the bushido way.