FOR HONOR AND LOVE

Rolf washed, dressed and went downstairs for dinner. He greeted his mother warmly. She was surprised by his change in demeanor and bright conversation during the meal. She thought perhaps he had reconciled himself to going to the academy and intended to make the best of it. When the two of them had finished eating, they walked out onto the terrace overlooking the gardens. The sky was blushing with the last rays of sunlight and the distant hills were already dark against the horizon. Only birds, singing their lullabies, whispered into the silence. It was a peaceful, delicate moment in time, giving Rolf a feeling he had never experienced. He looked at his mother, standing slightly ahead of him, leaning on the balustrade. She was a sedate woman and he measured in his mind how small she was compared to his father. He realized how much he loved her, and how protective of him she had always been and was being now. Rolf let the moment capture him, envelop him in a kind of transfixing and transforming melange of emotion. He felt as if he were passing through a membrane of existence, moving from childhood to manhood. He had heard about the rituals many cultures had developed as rites of passage for their young men, and how those who underwent them emerged with an new sense of being. It seemed crazy, but he was feeling that now. He must explain his plan to his mother without emotion, but with sincerity. And if she rejected it, or if Caspar or Rudi rejected it later, he would follow the course she set, do his very best, and become an honorable man.