How Strong Is Your Titanium

“You are 5 feet and 9 inches,” she said. I really didn’t pay too much attention to the nurse as she measured my height and wrote down my weight. I am 5 feet and 10 and one-half inches tall. How in the world did she make such a mistake? When I was moved to my hospital room after the surgery I never felt so helpless in my life. I never felt so “at ease” in my life. I hated the first week, but I began to look forward to the anguish of physical therapy because I knew with pain came progress. The moral: “Don’t go to town drunk on meds or if you go, cut those ugly white stockings from your legs.” KABAMMM thundered out as this large pine fell to the ground. It was much larger than I originally thought it to be. As I surveyed my work, Patricia came running out frightened by the loud thump of the fallen tree. She saw me with the chain saw, still in my hand, as I stood triumphantly with one of my white stocking feet propped on the tree on the ground. I raised the chain saw in the air with one hand, the sign of a conquering hero. Final advice: Don’t lean back on the ladder to get a better view because you may fall into bat guano. In the car on the way home from the hospital I started hiccupping. It was a really bad case of the hiccups. As a young boy, Tarzan was my hero. He wrestled lions and crocodiles all day. He’d be scratched, bitten, mauled and sometimes left for dead. The he’d slap some mud on his wounds and keep going. I remembered Tarzan’s example. I was determined to slap some mud on my wounds and drive on. There’s plenty of mud for you too. Milk and cookies are worth one more scratch on your arm. Dr. M had said on my first visit, “One day you’ll be glad you had this surgery.” That day was June 2, 2007. Bear Creek turned out to be larger than life. Working and completing this project is like a favorite saying, “If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly.” I should have named it Grizzly Bear Creek. As I let go of the chain saw, the top of the pine ricocheted off the dogwood, hit the unsteady ladder and fell to the ground. I abandoned the ladder in a hurry and headed to the ground, backwards. I hung from the balcony, my arms extended and growing weak. I felt helpless. There is only one thing to do…let go. I thought, “The Lord hates a coward,” and let go. I don’t know what his time was, but this one-legged man beat me badly. However, I beat Joey. After all the “throws” from my lawnmower I’ll now use it as it should be used. From now on I think I’ll just be like the other neighborhood guys on their mowers and let the Lawnmower Cowboy ride off into the sunset. I landed on my chest, stomach and mid-section as the front of my head hit the ground. It was broad daylight. I didn’t think you could see stars except at night. I looked at my wristband one last time before I removed it. My plastic motivator served its purpose well. A 65-year old man, not in tip-top physical condition kept a promise he had made to himself. A person who had both knees and both hips replaced only 30 months ago had many good reasons to quit a grueling, tortuous run like this one. Yes, I traded pain for peace. However, I know how to contact Dr M for a prescription….just in case. Do you have a wishbone or a backbone? I know he finds a way to tell his story in a way that will lighten everyone’s moment. Maybe when you hear his tales you will think, “If Joey can do that, maybe I can too.”