Candyland S.I.N.S.

…Young and Seasoned Mature dating and sex are here to stay! Get used to it. Matures are once again breaking down barriers. Yes, the three words are now even mentioned … in public … a triad not common in polite conversation until the success of online dating. Our hearts can still skip a beat … and, unfortunately, ache and break as well. May the happier sort of heart condition be in store for you as you venture through the Candyland of SINS. Be ready for rollercoaster rides that can place your heart in your throat ... a heart pumping with new life, exhilarated, re-generated … a heart sometimes broken if you leap into SINS without sufficient guidance and controls in place.

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Mature daters experience new love with the same telltale characteristics as those zany feelings and emotions of their teens and twenties. Falling in love at any age can bring out the teenager in most of us … the best and the worst parts. Quite often we experience even better relationships … less fleeting and with more depth. Most of us who have loved and lost are more appreciative of this glorious state in which we may once again find ourselves.

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Candyland SINS (my playful loose acronym for Singles INternet-dating Services) is a seemingly murky, if not temptingly exotic, world to which so many Single Matures are drawn. Internet dating is an ever expanding world-wide phenomenon that is more than flourishing. You can be part of and benefit from that growth because the dating pool for Matures is becoming increasingly larger. A 2013 E-Harmony study predicted that the age 55-64 bracket is expected to have the biggest online growth, with a 30 percent increase between 2013 and 2030 … from 1.87 million to 2.41 million members in this age category. The study further foresees by 2031 half of all couples will have met online … as will seven in ten couples by 2040. The sites within SINS await you to join other mature daters in their search for future partners and mates. Isn’t it great to think not of inevitable endings but of expectant beginnings!

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Consider slowly joining (as in not all in the same day or even the same week) a combination of sites that might be appropriate and for free in order to get your feet wet and give yourself some experience. Doing so would allow you to explore in different directions at little cost and simultaneously play the different fields just as some of you once did socially in your own traditional communities. SINS is your new community … and a wide open one it is. Please be aware that the free sites tend to be more heavily populated with unsavory characters. Always practice safe singling. Follow your safety guidelines; stay in control of your communications and interactions.

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… these sites take their members’ safety and security very seriously. Many entities use fraud detection algorithms and employ living, breathing people who review every dating profile at the time of registration. You can browse, connect, flirt and email with confidence. Unless you foolishly break some of the safety precautions recommended both in Candyland S.I.N.S. and on individual sites, your privacy and security are pretty much secured.

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I have enjoyed viewing photos sent in emails from members who live a wide range of lifestyles that I can only imagine: from sea farmers to cattle ranchers, from metropolitan sophisticates to farmers in suspendered dungarees, from a yogi in his wrapped robe to an Indian chief in his headdress, and more. I will always remember the prisoner. I didn’t see his surroundings, but the headshot in the orange jump suit was a big clue. He stated his profession as ‘law enforcement’. I believe he lived in a gated community, just not the one that most would want to share with him. I can say he was creative. A large number of matching sites exist for both male and female prisoners. He picked the wrong site.

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Would anyone be interested in me? Yes, generally. Of course, you have to be realistic in your expectations of how many might be interested in you. Also, you may not find those contacting you acceptable. You must do more searches, extend yourself, truthfully re-work your profile, and approach those whom you want to meet because you sense something special about them in their profiles. ..… Your appearance, lifestyle, interests, background, etc. And certainly, how well you present yourself and express your personality in your profile all come into play.

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Sex in your mature years …. You cannot ignore that it will be at minimum a focus of your thoughts and, likely, of discussions with potential partners as you continue to see each other. If you are both agreeable and sexually compatible you can enjoy some of the best sexual sharing of your lives … in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and beyond.

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How you expand your boundaries and morph your expectations while meeting members from many walks of life depends upon you … and a bit on fate. I suspect most of us, if we met the absolutely right one who knocked our socks off, would settle into partnered life. But in this era, the alternative lifestyle of self-determined Singleton living (living Solo) is not at all a negative one and certainly better than so many Marrieds tied down and drowning in unhappy relationships. The Solo living option may be one you want to explore as an alternative to full-time partnering. Here is yet another lifestyle choice.

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Embrace your life at this stage with good humor, passion, gusto and goals. Your family and friends will just have to go with your flow! Many Matures will not be deterred from living their remaining years and decades with enthusiasm … and positive actions exploring and forging new paths for greater happiness.