Random Thoughts From A Diseased Mind (Not For Dummies)
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Hey, lets all do something bizarre, call up your local "Alternative" music station(how they can call it alternative these days, with it being the most popular, hence, making it pop music, is beyond me,) but call them up, and request "Come Sail Away" by Styx. Just keep calling, and tell them it's as alternative as it gets.
Some things that have changed: "A Suspect" has become "A Person of Interest.", an "Interrogation" became "Questioning", but recently moved onto an "Interview". Next time I get pulled over, I'm going to make sure to say this to the cop, "Good day Protector of the City(or county, whichever is appropriate), I feel the compulsion to inform you that I am an interesting person, however not a person of interest, and there is no need for an extended detention for a thorough interview at your protective community center."
From the "You can't please ANYONE!" file: Several convicted murderers were given life(or multiple life) sentences. Of course, the group using racial disparity in sentencing are up in arms over these decisions. Meanwhile, no one is pointing out to them that the "Anti-Death Penalty" crowd(made up by mostly the same people) are pushing a "moratorium" on the death penalty.
In North Dakota, the new Emergency Hotline that was installed in the Governor’s office rang three times in it's first week of operation. Of course, they were not emergency calls, one was a wrong number, the other two were telemarketers. I'm just wondering if one of those telemarketers was calling from one of those security companies.
A police officer pulled over a car with stolen tags. After doing a search of the vehicle, arrested the driver and charged him with larceny of tags, and possession of cocaine. Then they released him on his own recognizance.
Here's one from the newsroom: The local news cut into a news broadcast about the Shuttle disaster to report on, the Shuttle disaster!
I walked into my bank one day, sat the withdrawal slip on the counter, and said, "This ain't a stick up, gimme all my money." The teller was not amused.
Wouldn't it be funny if all those organ donors found out that they couldn't get into heaven while some of their body parts are still alive?
"Actualutely" is another word that tells you that your brain has stopped functioning, but your mouth has not.
I wonder when "bathrooms" or "restrooms" are going to be replaced with "Human Waste Disposal Centers".
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About the Book
A compendium of things that may have been better off left unsaid, but
if they had been left unsaid, you couldn't laugh at them. An unabashed
look at everyday life in America, as viewed through a prism and around a corner.
About the Author
John L.R. Linde uses his middle initials, because it’s been a family
tradition to name all the male children “John” for at least 4
generations. They all have different middle names, but for some reason,
which completely eludes John(take your pick), the first name “John” is
always used. “This will probably tell you something bizarre about my
lineage…I know it did me. I don’t know if I would have followed suit,
and since Rose’s cancer surgery, it’s a moot point anyway. I had always
wanted daughters, which would also have made it a moot point…so there
you go. I guess that makes it a moot^2 point…if such a thing can be
known to exist.” He was raised by his Grandmother, as well as his aunt
Sharon(whom, if you read the dedication, will now know who can kiss his
ass…she knows why, and John won‘t elaborate). John is a regular user of
several internet forums, most notably are the forums of the Team
Fortress Servers that he frequents. John says, “If anyone feels the
desire to kill me, feel free to log on and give it a shot.” As of the
time of this publishing, he is now 39 years old, still reading Steven
Brust’s novels, and eats pizza and drinks beer almost every day. He
still works a full time job, and actually does enjoy it. He is working
on several other projects, all but one will be sure to offend someone.
He would love to try his hand at stand-up comedy….but is not sure the
world is ready for it.