Steve A. White and Ruth B. White
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This book goes into depth about this couple’s over 23 years marriage, as they share things never before discussed by any interracial couple, or any other author writing on race relations. In this book The Whites tell you their own story in their descriptive narrative, but they also include many color, and black and white photos and articles about their family and their work. They speak about Singleness, Teen Pregnancy, being an unwed mother of 3, but they want to bring you into their world to feel what they felt, so you can read about what actions they took in the midst of the chaos of the 1992 Los Angles Race Riots. They share their opinion on the racial hypocrisy of Religious Leaders and Politicians like Dr. Dobson who may be a main reason why so many interracial couples believe in others more than God. Ruth and Steve tell about the racism surrounding the OJ Simpson vs Mark Fuhrman and Dianne Watson vs Ward Connerly matters. They talk about the racist trials of Kobe Bryant, and young Marcus Dixon, and shocking revelation of Senator Strom Thurmond’s Biracial Daughter. Steve and Ruth explain how the News Media, Entertainment Industry, and others continue to use heavily charged racist terms like “African American” (referring to Blacks skinned people only), “Minority” etc. and how they feel celebrities like Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Diana Ross, Tiger Woods, Sidney Poitier and others may have ignored the Multiracial children in society. They speak about racism in the Education system and the Census that do not have a Multiracial Category so every one can acknowledge all of their heritage. Also they address the racism with some School Board Of Directors, Administrators, and Teachers. The Whites have spoken on the National Talk Show Circuit and in National Print as well as for a San Diego State University, and discuss their opinion on Michael Moore (of Fahrenheit 9/11), The National Black Caucus vs Real America and on Same Sex Marriages vs Interracial Marriages the Civil Rights Issue, and Brown vs The Board Of Education. The Whites are very proud that Former First Lady Barbara Bush was the inspiration behind their actions to move America towards A Colorblind Society. To check out more see www.aplaceforusnational.com
QUOTES BY THE MEDIA ABOUT THE WHITES
A little boy on my show said to me: “It’s too bad Martin Luther King is gone. We could use him right now,” and I said: “You’re right, but we can use what he taught us.” Now we have Ruth and Steve who live a life of love, tolerance, and acceptance, who teach us that caring doesn’t come in colors and that there is no patina to privilege or hue to honor.
Leeza Gibbons
Steve and Ruth, you are a true inspiration and a hope for humanity. Best Wishes.
Mark & Gail Mathabane
Best-selling authors of “Love in Black & White”
Published by Harper Collins
Mark is the Best-selling author of “Kaffir Boy”
And “Kaffir Boy in America”
Alabama High School Principal Huland Humphries doesn’t know Steven and Ruth White, but he will. Humphries wanted to ban interracial couples from attending his school’s prom. The Whites have collected 2000 signatures condemning Hemphries’ proposal and calling for his firing.
Alan Janson
Staff Writer
South Bay Daily Breeze
Steve and Ruth White, co-founders of “A Place ForUs”/National are working on a State Voter’s Initiative to add Multiracial categories on state forms that ask about race or ethnicity. The proposed measure is dedicated to Sydney and Justin Simpson, the children of O.J. Simpson and Nicole Brown Simpson.
Laura Flores
Staff Writer
Long Beach Press-Telegram
Steve, a native of Santa Monica/Pacific Palisades California (a White Educator with a B.A. Degree in English), and Ruth a native of Denver Colorado ( a Black Multiracial Woman, Career employee with the Federal Government and Businesswoman) met in March 1980. Ruth was not attracted to Steve at first, but he saw something special in her immediately. They became friends, and were engaged the week after Memorial Day 1980. Their engagement brought a firestorm of controversy. Steve’s Pastor refused to marry them, but Ruth’s Pastor did. After getting Ruth’s 3 Children’s approval, Steve and Ruth were married November 21, 1980. One of Steve’s friends gave Steve a list of 10 reasons why he shouldn’t marry Ruth: #1 ” She’s Black” #2 “She has 3 Children”, and #3 “She doesn’t go to our Church.” Steve went down the aisle as a single man and came back as the proud father of Ruth’s 3 children (whose lives he was very instrumental in shaping). This marriage led to a life-long crusade to help America deal from the heart of its racial issues.
The Whites first shared their story of hurt, deceit, and racism to a crowd of over 2000 in 1981. Radio, Television and Print Media interviews followed over the years. Ruth and Steve became Certified Christian Counselors in 1984 and that same year started a national organization to promote positive dialog and support for Interracial and Multiracial families called “A Place For Us/National.” It is the nation’s only known organization of its kind promoting racial harmony. The Whites were Ordained as Non Denominational Ministers by Living Waters Inc in 1988. Wherever they went people kept saying they needed to put their story in writing. They wrote their autobiography and published it in 1988.
Ruth & Steve were guests on many local and national radio and television talk shows and news programs, such as CNN, Leeza Gibbons and Montel Williams. They have appeared or have been quoted in such Print Media as The Los Angeles Times, USA Today, and have been asked to speak to many teens on High School and College Campuses on race relations. Steve and Ruth were on the Speakers Circuit for San Diego State University, and frequent speakers at South Coast College.
The Whites helped produce a PSA with USA Television on being Colorblind. Through their organization this couple has been contacted to consult on casting for a movie starring Denzel Washington by Tri-star called “Devil In A Blue Dress”, and Viacom/Showtime’s Mr. & Mrs. Lovings with Lela Rochon and Timothy Hutton. The movie was about how an interracial couple through then Attorney General Robert Kennedy overturned laws in the nation against interracial marriage. Steve and Ruth have been featured in Women In Film’s Magazine, Reel News.
Ruth’s passion became producing and hosting their radio and television talk shows, and working on such projects like The Post Oscar showcase which was developed to show top executives in the entertainment industry the best in up and coming producers, Directors, Actors and Writers, and having them get work based on their qualifications not race, age. Supporters of this project included Carl Reiner, Beau Bridges, Andy Garcia, Susan Surrandon, Sejourney Weaver, and many others. Top Executives or their representatives such as Jerry Bruckheimer and Steven Bocho attended this event. Sponsorship was received from Universal, and Paramount Studios. Ruth believes that Whitney Houston’s version of Cinderella was inspired by the principles of the work of The Post Oscar Showcase.
The Whites raised 3 lovely children with sound and strong principles. La Vonda M. Gollner the baby is a Child Psychology Major, President of her own film company “Up Productions” Author of “Never Say Never” The Survival Journal, which has received rave comments from best Selling Author of “Protecting The Gift, Child Advocate and Security Expert Gaven de Becker, and from Child Safety Activist Mark Klaas. Le Jeune T. Bryant, the middle child is an International Fashion Model and has been featured in Bridal Magazine, Pacific Sunwear, NFL Sports, and has graced the runways for such top designers as Perry Ellis, John Vervatos, Russell Simmon’s Phat Farm Collection, Eddie Rodriquez, and Kawasaki. Pershaun M Reynolds the eldest holds a B.A in Psychology, and is a Graduate of Chapman University and is a Stock Broker Investigator.
The Obstacles Before The Wedding
Satan had to really work hard to try to destroy this wedding. It’s almost like Mel Gibson making a movie about the crucifixion of Christ. People respect you and your work until you speak the truth about something they don’t want you to talk about. All of a sudden people start trying to find dirt on you. Well I know just how Mr. Gibson felt when he was attacked, and just like him we can handle it. Satan sent out his demons to perform overtime duty on us. Our wedding date was scheduled for November 21, 1980 (it was a Friday) and then we were going to Catalina Island for our honeymoon.
The time of our engagement to the time of our wedding date would be 5 months. I had a lot of support. Cynthia helped me find a dress to wear. I had Cynthia and Deborah Pruitt come to the wedding, besides Steve’s parents, because Mother had stopped traveling, but she wished us well. I didn’t know it then, but for Deborah this was preparation for her interracial marriage a few years later.
The days leading up to our marriage were trying, to say the least. On Sunday La Vonda got a really bad fever, and she wasn’t responding to anything. She couldn’t eat soup, and she wasn’t responding to aspirin or popsicles. I was starting to get worried because she was hot as a furnace. On Monday she had gotten to the point that she would hardly move. La Vonda would respond but nothing was working she was coming in and out almost like she was going into a coma. On Tuesday morning I called James over and told him to come right away and take La Vonda to the doctor. James called me and told me that the doctor said that if we’d waited a few hours longer she would have been dead. The doctor said she had Pneumonia and a fever of 105 degrees. I was horrified. Steve took me to the doctor to be with La Vonda. Steve had moved into the house that week, because he had to be out of his apartment.
LaVonda was under clear plastic covers. She was scared, because they kept giving her shots, so every time during the night when the nurses would come into the room, she would feel it while she was in a deep sleep and start crying. She knew the nurses were hurting her, but she also knew it was so she would get better. I stayed with her all night Tuesday and Wednesday.
On Thursday I remember during the daytime visiting hours, I saw James. It seems James had seen Steve come to the hospital and he was acting jealous. He asked me: "When are you getting married?” Then he proceeded to say: "You know no white man wants to marry a black woman, especially one with three children". I said: “Isn’t funny that one of those children is yours?” I said:" That’s all right; you’ll see when I get married.” I didn’t tell him that I was getting married the next day. I also told his mother not to tell James I was getting married until I was gone on my honeymoon. I knew what kind of person James was and I didn’t want him ruining my special day. While I was speaking to James’ mother on the phone, I asked her if La Vonda was released from the hospital could she come and stay with her for a while, because La Vonda wasn’t to go out of the house for a month. The kids weren’t allowed to see their sister, because of the germs. Cynthia was scheduled to take the boys so everything was all set for my special and big wedding day with Steve’s parents and our two friends. James’ mother said that of course she could come over, she would enjoy having her granddaughter over.
That night as I was praying over La Vonda, out of nowhere my baby said: “It’s OK, Mama, God is healing me". I started crying because that’s the kind of faith God wants us to have Him. LaVonda had the faith that says that God has the power to heal, but if He chooses not to, she was only on loan to me for His purpose. I told La Vonda that Steve and I were going to get married on Friday, and that we’d be up as soon as the wedding was over, because we were going home afterwards to get ready to take the boat over to Catalina.
Our Wedding Day
As I said earlier Steve had moved into my house the week before the wedding, because he had a lot of stuff, but he was very discrete.
Steve was truly a gentleman and scholar. He said there would be no hanky panky going on, because we had to do everything right before God, and furthermore people would surely think that Steve being over at the house before the wedding date could mean that we were doing things we shouldn’t yet. Steve was serious, because he slept with his clothes on, then he took a shower on Friday morning and did his changing then.
I had to make sure we had our marriage license signed by the witness and Pastor Price. The morning started normally. The boys were awakened, and they had to take their baths. After their bath, I put together the only suits they had. Le Jeune wore his Hushpuppy shoes, and he had practically worn them out playing at the day care, and rolling around with the children, but they were the best that I had for him. Pershaun was not as bad on shoes as Le Jeune was. Le Jeune would get completely dirty. We all prayed with each other. Then we all got into Steve’s car, and we went to the church. We met Cynthia and Deborah at the church. We met Angela at the receptionist area and she told Pastor Price we were there. Steve’s father added salt to the wounds by telling him: “We didn’t come to stay; we only wanted to tell you son, if you marry her it will be a disaster." What a thing to tell your son on his wedding day!! Steve was so hurt that when we went back into the church showed his devastation by tearing up. I’m sure he was in shock The thing that really disturbed me is that Steve’s father obviously didn’t take our relationship seriously until this point. You see in his eyes a white man can sleep with a black woman and treat her like a doormat if he wants, but never give her respect by falling in love with her and surely not marrying her. So when this situation happened I knew just what he was trying to do.
I ran in the church to tell Angela what happened. We were all upset, and my husband to be was so hurt. It seemed all the life was going out of him, but he endured and kept a stiff upper lip. Angela however was very concerned and she ran to tell Pastor Price what happened, and Pastor Price ran out to the front to find out what happened. By then Steve’s parents had left the premises.
Pastor Price had us immediately go into his office for an hour of pre-marital counseling before the wedding. We told him everything that had happened to us. We told him the research that we had done biblically and about others that were interracially married in The Bible. Pastor Price listened, and said: “You are not unequally yoked.” He said other things, and told us not to worry about anything. I will tell you that God is so good, because Steve’s parents were not able to attend the marriages of his sister’s because they were Mormon and unless you are a Mormon, you can’t go to the wedding. They were invited to ours and chose not to come, but God had other plans. The story goes that Steve’s father said that he had to work on the teeth of one of his clients, but somehow when they got down the street, Steve’ mother started wailing, because she wanted to be at her only son’s wedding. They were so convicted, that they turned around. I think they were going to Santa Barbara, and they came back to the church in time for the ceremony.
Dad huffed and puffed when the Pastor said” "If there’s anyone who thinks this marriage shouldn’t take place, speak now or forever hold your peace." In spite of that, Steve’s father didn’t say anything and he even signed the marriage certificate. We thanked Pastor Price, because the last ditch effort to break us a part didn’t stop God’s plan for our lives.
After the ceremony, Pershaun took Steve’s mother by the hand and said: "Mr. & Mrs. White may I show you around the church?" Steve’s mother said "yes." I had a few quiet tears flowing down my face with pride to hear and see a little boy have the dignified way that a man should act, but he was just a child. I was also so proud of my son. You see Pershaun knew what had been happening. He knew how Steve’s parents felt about them and me, but he still showed respect and the Agape love that’s hard for any adult having to go through the same thing to do.
After the wedding, the wedding party went to see La Vonda in the hospital. Steve and I gave her my flowers from the wedding. The boys sent their love, and Cynthia took the boys over her house while Steve and I prepared to change clothes so we could catch our boat to go over to the island.
After all we’d gone through, I wasn’t going to feel completely safe until we were on the island. I needed some peace of mind by this point. We had to get to the San Pedro Pier to take our boat over that evening. I was probably happier than I had ever been in my life. My man showed that he loved me in so many ways this day that I knew he really loved me, and I knew then that if anything ever happened to him, he could never be replaced. Steve had all of the things that gave me security. He loved God, the children, and me. Steve would go on to prove this over and over again through the years.
The trauma we’d experienced just leading up to the marriage was something Pastor Price wanted his congregation of over 2500 people to know about, but he wanted us to share it at the end of 1981, because we would have been married a year. I didn’t understand then, but I understand now. Pastor Price wanted to see if we could stay together, so when we did share what happened, we’d have a little more solid ground to stand on. If ministers were to follow Pastor Price’s principle, maybe celebrities who accept the Lord wouldn’t be under so much pressure by trying to become ministers before they have been grounded, and made stable in their new faith.
I wish La Vonda could have been well enough to be a part of one of the happiest days of my life, but it was better that she get well. The doctors said she wouldn’t be released until after the weekend. We went to the hospital and I gave her my flowers from the wedding. I had asked James’s mother if she’d let La Vonda come and stay with her through the summer months, because our home was drafty and La Vonda needed to be where the temperature was constant. Grandma said yes. I knew La Vonda was glad, because she would be there when her favorite Uncle Lee would come home. He was an owner of a horse stable, and also a double for famous Actor Louis Gossett Jr. Her Uncle Lee was in the movie “The Deep" and in the classic series "Roots". Now he didn’t have a great part in the movie but he’s there, and that’s something he can be proud to have been a part of. Anyway he was the one whom she admired the most, on her biological father’s side. You see, she would at least get to run into the living room at night when he came home. La Vonda would get out of her bed, and run to him. He’d pick her up and she could smell his cologne. He’d kiss her on the head and put her back to bed. La Vonda didn’t require a bunch of love, but the little she needed she got from him, not her father.
The Blow in the Mac’s Game
So being over there would be good for her and could help her heal faster. La Vonda’s father was known by a lot of people he worked with as Mac. I guess he thought he was the Mac, but he was going to get the biggest surprise of his life. James’s mother knew I was going to get married to Steve, and she knew this was going to be the best thing for the children and her granddaughter. James’s mother also liked Steve and was proud of the fact that he wanted to do something her own child wasn’t willing to do.
In my conversation with Mother Dear, I told her not to tell James that Steve and I were married until we left for our honeymoon, because I didn’t know what he was capable of trying to pull. As I think of it he didn’t like being around Godly things in the first place, so he might of been scared to come, but I wasn’t going to chance it. Not this day. I found out many years later that when James found out that I had gotten married he would not have anything to do with the girl friend he was living with for over 3 months, because he was soooo hot about the fact that I really did get married. Who had the last laugh now?????
Knott’s Berry Farm
It was during this time that so many things started happening in Southern California, The Aerospace Industry was headed for a major breakdown, and a lot of the people in the Beach Cities in our organization would stand to lose their homes, and their jobs. This was very serious, but we tried to keep the families hopeful and in prayer during this challenging time. One of the last major children’s amusement events was going to Knott’s Berry Farm. We had a group of children and their parents and one of our children’s friends came. We had a great time at the Park. When it was time to go, the children were getting on their jackets on and the bigger children were helping the smaller children and keeping watch. We adults gathered everyone in one place.
All of a sudden, this big man came from out of nowhere with his son. He was aggravated and saying obnoxious things to the children as he was passing by. I knew he seemed to be agitated, as we all can be from time to time, but he was downright rude. The big man said something to one of the children. Steve was on one side away from me with the other children and I was on another side. Steve was watching when I asked the man: "Who are you talking to?" He turned around with his young child and said: "I’m talking to you, you Black Nigger Bitch". He said this in front of all of these children, but I was shocked at first and it turned into immediate anger. I was just as angry that he said it in front of his own child. Well I am not the person to say that to, so I zeroed in on the fact that he was going into the Men’s Restroom. I was on my way in there too. This man was bigger than Steve, who is 6 feet 2 inches, but I didn’t care; I had tunnel vision and I was going to get me some meat that evening, and possibly go to jail. I was ready, but the children were all concerned as to what would happen.
As I was about to enter the Men’s Bathroom, Steve beat me into the bathroom. Of course this man thought I was by myself, but Steve said to this man: "That lady you called Black Nigger Bitch is my wife and she has every right to be here just like you." The man got scared and said he was sorry. I was outraged, because I had hoped that no child would have to hear those types of things ever again in history. What keeps coming back to me is that this man’s own child could some day repeat those same words to someone else, and that was what we were trying to prevent. We made an example of that man that night and we would use this to try to have young people and adults realized what the consequences could be by opening your mouth and inserting your foot. I think we were getting prepared for some more of what was to come.
