A Girl's Pocket Guide to Trouser Trout: Reflections on Dating and Fly-Fishing

Are you angling for trout but hooking only Other Fish in the Sea? Ladies, we’re not talking about seafood.

If men were fish and women the anglers, trout would be the good guys women want to land, Other Fish in the Sea the fellows who make women’s lives miserable. How do you differentiate between the keepers and the losers? A Girl’s Pocket Guide to Trouser Trout illuminates the often-murky waters of the dating pool with insights inspired by fly-fishing techniques and advice.

A Girl’s Pocket Guide to Trouser Trout helps a woman define her own angling style in the hunt for her trophy trout. This witty, sometimes spicy book dishes information on Other Fish in the Sea to avoid, quality streams to fish (good places to meet good men), leader lines to cast (conversation openers), and natural, artificial, and exotic lures to utilize. What to do when the fishing hole runs dry, prospects for angling in the later years, trouser trout tips, and tall tales of trout landed or lost round out the book.

A Girl’s Pocket Guide to Trouser Trout won first place in the nonfiction book category of the 18^th Annual SouthWest Writers Writing Contest.

Gail Rubin, a public relations professional, is a trouser trout angling expert. During her 30-year angling career, she dated many swell trouser trout as well as her share of blowfish, crabs and urchins. Ms. Rubin knows, from personal experience, what puts the “ick” in ichthyology. First married in 1983, she resumed trolling following a 1988 divorce. After years of casting for a keeper, she landed her trophy trout and married again in December 2000.

Chapter Three

The Compleat Angler: Natural, Artificial

and Exotic Lures

Margo examined her appearance in the ladies room mirror. Her short red hair fluffed appealingly. Not too much make-up, just enough to spark her hazel eyes and accentuate her full lips. She fiddled with her intricate treasure necklace, a collection of beads and charms that tinkled of their own accord. She adjusted her skirt, which was short enough to show off her long legs without screaming “Whore here!” Satisfied everything was in place, she sauntered into the nightclub. Scanning the room for men not already engrossed in co-ed conversation, Margo spotted a likely candidate. She parked herself at the bar, next to a beefy blonde fellow with owlish glasses. His eyes were immediately drawn to her chest, not because she was amply endowed or possessed perky nipples. “Wow, that’s a very interesting necklace,” he said. “Why, thank you,” said Margo. “I found it at a funky little boutique in Baltimore. Ever been to Fells Point?” As they launched into their conversation, Margo thought to herself, “The interesting jewelry does it every time.”

Glossary

In the wide wet world of trouser trout angling, you’ve got to know the lingo. In this book, fly-fishing and trouser trout angling share similar terminology. Here’s a list of commonly used terms, presented in both the ordinary fishing sense and how the word applies to trouser trout angling. Mark these pages and refer to this list if you find a word that stumps you.

Angler

Fishing Term – A person who fishes, usually a man, although an estimated 10 to 15% of avid fly-fishers are women.

Trouser Trout Term – A woman who fishes for trouser trout.

Attractor

Fishing Term – Big, flashy, colorful lures that don’t necessarily resemble a real insect, yet can still provoke trout to strike.

Trouser Trout Term – The lure of using the right colors and accessories to enhance an angler’s visual appeal.

Bait

Fishing Term – Worms, small fish, bread, cheese or authentic insects utilized for lures, as opposed to artificial flies.

Trouser Trout Term – Live lures, such as pet animals, utilized to attract a trouser trout’s attention.