Catching Feelings

For the past twenty two years, that’s what I have been writing about. I wrote about the successes I’ve had and how it became my truth and self-definition. I wrote about how I felt when I started to feel love and how it brought me to places I’ve never been to before. I think that you have to know yourself and define love basing on that knowledge to take on the journey and make it worthwhile. But I also wrote about how crashing it is to fall out of love, to lose the definition you gave it and lose the other person you’ve grown fond of. Never knowing that it can be the best experience because you will also find yourself in the process and somehow that was everything. It’s thrilling and exciting when I wrote about moving in to a loud and bright city in the country. I think that you have to be ambitious and brave enough to take on a bigger city and its blaring truths. I wrote about the most naked thoughts of my mind and how unbecoming I can be sometimes. When you’re a young adult, experiences are what we want to earn and I’ve sort of described how maddening and haywire one single experience can be. I think … I think that the world is a big cloud of wild emotions. It’s a kaleidoscope of pulsating beats and noises with silent screams and wildest dreams and it’s full of wonder and made up realities mixed all together. It’s a big cloud of smoke that blurs your vision and you just get lost in the moment. You try to clear your vision but you are just going around in circles and nothing is making sense. And in that moment, you grasp a sense of what’s going on but you are breathless and slowly you are losing consciousness. But as soon as the dust settles in and you start getting a clearer picture of what it really is, you realize that you are just there…standing at square one.