Why Doesn't Daddy Feel So Well?
by
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Key Points to Make with the Child
A. Explain how everybody in a family is negatively affected when one person gets sick.
B. Explain that children may often think there is something wrong with themselves when someone else in the family is sick, but that’s not true.
Marianna asked one day, “Mommy, is Daddy alright?”
Mommy answered, “Marianna, I don’t know.” She said, “I am worried about him.”
On another day, Pablo asked Daddy to throw the football with him. Daddy said, “Sure, son, we’ll throw the football after I take a little nap. I feel very tired right now.”
Pablo’s Daddy didn’t wake up until after it was dark. It was too late to throw the football. To Pablo, it seemed like Daddy wasn’t feeling well. He was very, very disappointed. He wondered if it could be his fault because Daddy didn’t play football with him. Pablo asked himself, “Did I do something wrong to make Daddy not to want to throw the football with me?”
A few days later, Marianna asked Daddy to go to a, “Father and Daughter” night at her school. Daddy said he would go. When the day of the event came, Daddy wasn’t feeling well and they didn’t go. Marianna felt very hurt. She asked herself, “Am I doing something to make Daddy not want to be with me?” She cried herself to sleep in her bed that night.
Though Daddy always told them that he loved them, he didn’t often show them that he loved them. Sometimes, they didn’t think that Daddy really loved them at all. At sometimes, even Mommy thought it was her fault that Daddy was in the way that he was.
Things to Think About
A. Describe how Daddy has been feeling lately.
B. Describe how you think Pablo felt when Daddy didn’t feel good enough to throw the football after he said he would.
C. Describe how you think Marianna felt when Daddy didn’t to the “Father and Daughter” event after he said he would
D. Do you think that Pablo and Marianna were beginning to believe that maybe they did something to make Daddy sick?
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Book Details
About the Book
This is book is one of the most imaginative and innovative approaches to helping young children understand the nature of alcoholism and its devastating impact on them and their entire family. A simple story of a family with young children going through this life crisis is the teaching tool. The story is based on the author’s personal experience and written for children ages 7-12. Instructions are provided to the parent to enable them to guide the child through the story emotionally and to invite them to identify and share their feelings about the family in the story, and most importantly, about their own family.
The book uses Key Points at the beginning of each chapter to highlight critical issues the parent should discuss during the chapter. As both the parent and child read through the story together, the parent is focused and guided to use the story as a springboard for conversation and enlightenment regarding the child’s own family situation and dynamics. At the end of each chapter is a section called, “Things to think about.” These are a series of thoughtful questions for discussion that invite and encourage both parent and child to bring to the surface intense feelings that are sometimes buried deeply.
About the Author
R. A. Kelley and his family have personally struggled through the devastating effects of alcoholism for many painful years. He went through rehab and started with AA. His wife became a member of Al Anon. As he began this recovery, he and his wife looked for a way to prevent their young children from being damaged by his affliction. They enrolled them in the Ala-Teen as they became old enough. They went together as a family to a venue where simultaneous programs were taking place. Then slowly, but, surely they began to get better – individually and as a family.
He and his wife would have discussions with their children that would focus on ensuring that they completely understood and completely believed that they were blameless for their father’s condition. This book is primarily based on their story of their journey back to sanity. They still have daily challenges, but they face them with greater certainty, confidence, and unity than they ever have.
R.A. Kelley holds a Master’s degree in adult and adolescent education and training (instructional design) from Florida State University with over 20 years of experience in the field. He currently lives with his wife, daughter, and son in the Indianapolis area.