Stay The Course

Mr. Brown walked through the door of my classroom shortly before the nine o’clock bell sounded.  The room fell dead silent.  It was so quiet I could hear myself breathe, anxious with the anticipation of hearing his speech, even if it was the same old speech he had given to every other eighth grade class.  He stood in front of the classroom by Mrs. Brown’s desk.  She was his wife.  They spoke in low whispers.  When their chatter ended, Mr. Brown cleared his throat and faced the class.
    “Good morning boys and girls,” he began in his deep speaking voice.
    “Good morning,” we sang back like a church choir.
    “In 1954, Mr. Brown continued, “when you were just babies in your mother’s arms,” (the class snickered at that) “thanks to a great Negro man and brilliant attorney named Thurgood Marshall, the Supreme Court, the highest Court of this land, handed down a decision that would change all of our lives.  That decision made it unlawful,” he repeated the word 'unlawful' several times, “for the United States of America, our country, to have segregated schools.  Separate and unequal no more.”  He paused.  “Now some of you may have already heard from your parents, maybe on television, or the radio about some changes that are taking place.   Change is a good thing,” Mr. Brown said, nodding his approval, “and although it has been slow making its rounds, integration has finally come to Carroll County, North Carolina.”  His eyes slowly scanned the room of anxious students as if he was taking a careful count.  “Now, your teacher,” he nodded towards Mrs. Brown, “has what is called a ‘Selection Sheet’ that she will pass out to each one of you.  On this form you must check the high school you want to attend.  Your choices, of course, are Snowden High or Kramer High.  We hope that by handling it this way we will voluntarily get the number of students we need over to Kramer High.”
    A hushed, noisy buzz poured from the students.  Nora, who sat right across from me, leaned in close.  “What does he mean by it’s our choice?”
    “It’s your choice.”  I shrugged.  “Just mark the box for Snowden High.”   
    “I know this is new and different,” Mr. Brown said, “so feel free to ask your teacher, Mrs. Brown, any questions you might have.  I have nothing but the utmost faith that you can succeed anywhere.  And I want you to always remember this,” Mr. Brown pounded his fist in his hand in rhythm as he spoke, “change is a good thing,” he said, and quickly left the room.
    Not until Mrs. Brown placed the ‘Selection Sheet’ on my desk did it hit me that my eyes were still glued to the closed door waiting for Mr. Brown to come back and give the speech he was suppose to make.  I stared down at a piece of paper that asked me to chose whether I wanted to begin the most important day of my life attending the all-Negro Snowden High, or the all-white Kramer High — a decision, in my opinion, that didn’t require much use of a brain.  I positioned my pencil over the box for Snowden High.
    “We want you to select Kramer High,” Mrs. Brown said in a soft whisper, nearly startling me out of my chair.  Her mouth was so close to my ear I felt the warmth of her breath.
    “Mr. Brown said it was a volunteer thing,” I whispered back.
    “I know what Mr. Brown said, but we’ve got to get a certain number of our Negro students over to the all-white school.”
    “Maybe you can git enough without me.”
    “But we have to make sure.  It’s the law now.”
    I could feel Mrs. Brown staring, peering around at me.  I refused to look at her. I kept my eyes fixed on my pencil hovering over the box for Snowden High.
    Mrs. Brown leaned in close again.  “Lori, Mr. Brown and I have talked at length about you and we both agree.  You’re smart.  Quick.  The students we send to the all-white school have to be strong enough to handle the kind of challenges they’re sure to face, and you’re one who can do just that.
    "But I wanna go to high school with my friends.”
    “Lori, you’ve been chosen to represent the Negro race.  Now even if you don’t check that box you will be assigned to Kramer High.”