Spanish Angst
What I Wish I’d Known BEFORE I Moved to Madrid
by
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ON A DATE: The floor by the bar is caked with discarded tissue napkins, cigarette butts, shrimp casings, nut shells, toothpicks, etc. The free tables are stained and dirty and many people stand at the bar making a racket as they watch a football game on the TV behind it. BELLA is seated so she has to look at the wall, where a black plastic sign lists the food items and the prices are inserted in yellow numbers. WAITER B, a grimy man in a dirty white jacket, comes. WAITER B: (Fingering greasy hair and wiping his nose with his hand) What do you want? OCTAVIO: Look, we want a plate of empanadas, grilled shrimp, two shish kebob, and a beer for me. What do you want to drink? BELLA: I’ll have water, but isn’t that WAITER B: (Looking at OCTAVIO) Should I bring it all at once or one thing at a time? OCTAVIO: One by one. BELLA: Excuse me, don’t you think that WAITER B takes off. BELLA is visibly pissed. OCTAVIO is amused by this. OCTAVIO: Did you want to order something else? BELLA: I was going to say that it sounds like too much food. You plan to stay here all night? And the table ought to be cleaned. I can’t believe he didn’t even wipe it off. This whole place looks really grimy to me and I can’t even put my purse down because the table is greasy and the chair next to me has some unidentifiable muck smeared on it. OCTAVIO: What are you doing living in a foreign country if you don’t want to experience the local culture? This isn’t BELLA: So you’re saying they purposely haven’t cleaned in days to make it appear they are popular? Some of the crap on this table looks like it’s sprouting mould. OCTAVIO: That’s green sauce. In any case, we are here to get to know each other. You can’t expect someone you’ve just met to take you to a ritzy place. BELLA: I didn’t realize basic hygiene was considered ritzy in AT WORK: GLORIA 1 and MARGA are standing by the coffee maker drinking from their mugs while BELLA sits at her desk. BELLA is just as slim as in Act 1, has a mug on her desk and eats bits of a pastry but continues to work throughout the conversation. MARGA: Incredible! How can you eat that? <>
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About the Book
Spanish Angst is a high concept comedy set in 1997 and centred on a strong female protagonist. Bella, a 23 year old marketing graduate, leaves the
The owner of the firm where she works believes that all around him exist solely to increase his personal wealth. Her direct boss, Marga, is a jealous forty-something who delights in exploiting her and insulting her dress sense. Her attempts to find a different job seem surreal, she can’t get her t.v. fixed, she can’t get a decent meal, no one seems to understand her accent and her matchmaking flat mate keeps setting her up with losers. Bella is just too American, feminist and goal oriented for the people around her and the cultural clashes provide constant entertainment. She is also too stubborn to just give up.
Based on over twelve years of the author’s experience working and seeking work in
About the Author
LLVT is a Spanish citizen born of a Danish mother in
Although fictional, the events in SPANISH ANGST are true to life and draw very heavily on the author’s personal experiences of living and trying to work in
A full biography and other banter written by LLVT can be seen on the website: www.varelatychsen.info, including a monologue in Spanish and a short script in English about getting dumped.