F.A.S. A Cry for Help

Each day was a trial. An attempt to make it better. To try to get a little bit further. To be stronger. To learn more. To prepare better for the next day. Even though my patience was tried and my perseverance was put to the test, I would gird up my loins, and go on. My great-grandmother was always heard to say, "This too shall pass! This too shall pass!" Well, THIS wouldn't pass. THIS, being Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

The assessment of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome was an accidental discovery and yet a revelation for me. My mother had called one evening and asked me to watch a particular TV show. She blurted out, "You won’t believe what they’re talking about." She went on to say, "I think they’re talking about Jeanie and Jennifer!" As I watched the documentary, I felt like I was being liberated – set free! At last, I could see that I wasn’t going crazy all alone. That was what our family had been living with all the time!

At the end of the program it had suggested a book on the subject. When I went to the Library, I was appalled by the fact, that there was only one book listed as a reference under Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. That was 1993 and the book in question was by Michael Dorris, "The Broken Cord" - published in 1989. I checked it out, took it home and devoured it. I outlined the book, kept it as long as I possibly could and ingested every word. Then I purchased a copy of my own and did that whole routine all over again. I just couldn't seem to get enough of that wonderful, new information. I didn't realize that I wanted to learn about the subject until I got started. Then, you can't stop me! It was so enlightening and yet comforting, to know that I was not alone in that nightmare. Mother also checked the book out and I'm sure she felt the same relief, because she had given so much care to the girls all the years that I was working.

In a therapy session with Carol at Bannock House, I learned that Jeanie definitely had some traits that pointed toward being a Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) child. I had also learned so much from the time I first received an information packet (in Sep. 1995) from the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Family Resource Institute (FAS*FRI) in Washington. It contained copies of news and magazine articles, personal stories of courage, medical and psychological information and sources for continued support. That was the beginning of my research and investigation into Fetal Alcohol Exposure. I had become engrossed and devoted to finding out as much as I possibly could, because that was what I was living with twenty-four hours a day. I immersed myself in reading and researching. I was spellbound with all the information I consumed. I couldn't learn enough – and the learning went on!

I had talked to so many people and had learned so many not so wonderful things about Fetal Alcohol Exposure. Like the woman who had a thirty-year-old daughter who was diagnosed as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) with some Dyslexic traits. She now wondered if her daughter could have been FAS or FAE. And do you know why, after thirty-years she was questioning the diagnosis? Because, when she went into a premature labor with that baby, she was given an alcohol drip to stop the labor! The only alcohol that was ever taken into her system! Ever!

It's not my job to say, "You don't need those types of experiences in your life to make you a better person or to help you grow." Maybe you do; maybe you don't. But if you did, maybe you could go on and help someone else with their life.

Sometimes the power of one seemed like a pretty awesome position to me. I never knew who might be watching me and taking notes on my life. I definitely felt like I was on a crusade of my own – a power of one – to help the world recognize that there was a problem, and it was a never-ending problem.

I had to get through my life the best way I knew how. But, if I could help someone to recognize and work through a heartbreak, that I myself had lived through, and continued to go through, then that was my contribution.