Carolyn Brown
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This is an intriguing story of how a young lady grew up carrying the world on her shoulders. It’s about how women can become drained from being the wife, mother, sister, granddaughter, and daughter. While growing up in her environment, she became labeled by others. Everyone in the "hood",especially the girls, were pre-labeled; not to do anything or go anywhere in life. She was raised by her mother who had a 7th grade education along with three other sisters and one brother. Being the oldest, she became the one to take care of the others in the absence of her mother. Her environment caused her to become grown long before her time. As life went on, she wanted to be different from what she had been exposed to daily. She had experienced abuse and pain for herself as well as all the women in her family. After experiencing a great lost, she made a 180 degree turn around to stun her family and everyone else in the community. Although, the turn around did come about, she still fought her whole life to be better in everything she did. Her pride and determination to be that "so-called strong woman" could cause her great pain and drain her of the strength that she longed to have. She battles to overcome the history of abuse in her family while seeking a solution to break the "generational curse" that continues to haunt the women in her family. Can the cycle be broken? Can she ever get back that self-esteem, that self confidence, the strength that had been taken through a history of pain and abuse to strive to be the woman that she needs to be for her family? Can her younger sisters keep her dream alive; break the generational curse?
The author was born and raised in the small town of Yazoo City, Ms. She is the oldest of six girls and two boys. She started playing sports, basketball and softball, at the age of 6 where she learned about discipline and hard work at an early age giving honor to a local hero, Mr. Herman Leach,(Coach),a community legend.She graduated from Yazoo City High School where she played basketball throughout, progressing on to Tougaloo College where she received an academic and an athletic scholarship. Through hard work and dedication, she became the first freshman captain at Tougaloo College to become the leader of the Lady Bulldogs in 1992. She married in 1995. Shortly after marriage, she later transferred to Mississippi College receiving a Bachelor's degree through the MCTAP program. This allowed her to work and support her family while still pursuing her B.S.ED. In 1997, she became the first female firefighter and only female firefighter to date in Yazoo City. She went on to become a certified firefighter through the State Fire Academy in Pearl, MS while still continuing to pursue her first degree in education. She is the proud mother of two children, a girl age 12, and a boy age 15. After leaving the Yazoo City Fire Department, she continued to pursue her degree in education in which she received her B.S.ED in 1999. In 2003, she went back to Mississippi College to pursue her Master's degree in Education. In 2004, she also received her Master's degree in education. She is currently working in the field of Education Administration.
Author(s) of: "A Woman Drained"
Chapter 32
Just when I thought it should be getting better for the women in our family-It hit me from the blind side. I didn’t see it coming. I should have but, I didn’t. After the family visited me in Florida, there was more trouble to come. My sister, Sonya, age 21 was in an abusive relationship as well. She was dating this big time drug dealer, Black, who was well known. She fell into that trap that most younger women were falling into in the small town of Yazoo City. Every young girl in town wanted to be hitched up with a drug dealer. This was the easy life-so they thought. My thing was-What will happen when it’s all gone-when their dope dealer boyfriends are locked up or dead?
Sonya has always been the outspoken one-one to just run off at the mouth without a reason. She is very "hot headed". Every time I’ve tried to tell her things to ease her pain and make her life easier, we would always end up in an argument. As her big sister, I would whip her-She didn’t stand a chance. Her mouth always made me want to whip her. She weighed only a "buck-twenty"-but if you heard her speak, you would think she was the biggest woman in town. But, I had grown out of that. My fighting days were long gone. I asked, "Sonya, how long do you expect this "good life" to last? "What are you going to do when he dumps you for the next young, fine girl?" "How are you goingto take care of yourself?" "How many more beatings are you going to take?" The scars that are left on your face don’t look pretty. It must be his way of branding you. I was angry all over again. Her pain was my pain. I was fortunate enough to escape a tragedy. My mom was fortunate to escape a horrible tragedy.
Could she escape? Unfortunately, I learned early on with my Aunt Marie that if the cycle continued, the abuse continued, somebody else would lose their life. After going back and forth with Sonya, it was like fighting a losing battle. She simply stated, "Stay the hell out of my business"! "You should be the last to talk after Darryl walked all over you as if you were a door mat!" Wo! I almost lost it-but something within me just told me to take a deep breath. I needed to step back and pray about it. By this time, my mom knew she had to step in between us. She had been listening to our conversation all along. This was my baby sister. I only wanted to help her while I could. I felt deep down in my soul that the ending to her "good life" would not be "good" by no means- there was just no way. The last thing I remember telling her was that people who love you don’t hurt you. Every week end she came by my mom’s house with a black eye, a broken arm or some other noticeable bruise. Her boyfriend, Black, was very controlling. Little did she know was that I had been where she was going. My sister, Sonya, and I were fourteen years apart. She could remember some of the abuse that I had gone through, her mother had gone through, and every other woman in the family. However, she thought that her abuse was different from ours. When she would listen to the women in the family sit around and discuss abusive relationships and pain, she would always say, "A man will never put his hands on me"- "He’ll be six feet under". Well, Black was still walking.
They had been in a relationship for about two years. In the beginning, he reeled her in by buying her name brand clothes,diamond rings, expensive shoes, etc. When I noticed the change in her, I thought that she was dealing with dope or some other illegal activities. However, I found out differently. I could remember him dropping her off in different vehicles; Cadillac Escalades, BMW’s, Mercedes.... He had so many vehicles, he had to park them at various locations. I told my mom that I knew Black well. This was a man who had never worked a day in his life. He dropped out of school in the 11th grade-smart and a great athlete. He dropped out of school when they first caught him with marijuana at school. After that, he's had a fifteen year run of selling dope. Black didn’t care who he sold dope to- he sold it to his mother.
