Claire L. Cale
They say that a good man is hard to find. But in Claire’s experience, this is somewhat of an understatement. Surely the word ‘impossible’ should make an appearance somewhere within this phrase?
In no particular order, the men Claire met included liars, cheaters, stalkers and well, tossers, to be blunt. So when a friend suggested online dating Claire figured that she hadn’t exactly got much to lose. And so began Claire’s hilarious, bizarre and unthinkable experiences of the internet dating world, as she embarked on a journey laced with yet more disastrous dates.
And still, Mr Right failed to show up. That was until the grand appearance of Robin, who swept Claire off her feet the moment she laid eyes on him. Finally, she had met the man of her dreams. But little did she know that before Robin met her he launched a National media campaign to find the lady of his dreams, prompting attention from women all over the world. Would this turn into yet another disaster for Claire?
Claire Cale was born in Sutton Coldfield, England in 1979. A gym addict and basketball fanatic, Claire studied Sport & Exercise Sciences at the University of Birmingham and graduated in 2001. With a great family, friends to be proud of and a good job, Claire had a bright future ahead of her. But one thing was missing, and it was the most important piece of the jigsaw. Mr Right had failed to come into her life. So Claire resorted to online dating, and quickly learned that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince...
So the lawyer was gone. And who cares? I was a big girl; I could handle it. He was a boring git anyway, and if he hadn’t have gone off with his secretary at this point then he would have done whilst I was giving birth to his third child. So I considered myself as being quite fortunate actually. I now had a whole world of men to choose from as a singleton again.
Great, there’s that word again; ‘singleton’. I swear that each syllable sends chilling shivers up my backside, reminding me that I have to start the whole miserable ‘dating’ process all over again, and causing levels of distress that can only be cured by chocolate indulgence. I now had to endure countless e-mails from men who were either seeking a shag, a shag on the side, or a shag that was accompanied by a convenient passport. I had to try to sift through the spelling errors, bad grammar and ‘copy and paste’ jobs to find someone who was bothered to write more than a single exclusive sentence about themselves. Someone who had a half-decent, non-airbrushed photo which preferably didn’t exhibit any bare-chested poses or a convertible Renault Megane in the background. I now had to try to find somebody whose profile text didn’t start with ‘Not really sure what to write here’ or whose most exciting comment was not as pathetic and common as ‘I like to cuddle up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a DVD’.
Just as I was feeling lower than low I received an e-mail from Elliot. Perfect timing!
From: Elliot
Of course, if you would like to stay in touch, I would love to…?
And for what purpose? Perhaps he required me for informal shags whilst his secretary was getting her nails done. And why did he suddenly feel the need to use the word ‘love’? Maybe he thought that I wouldn’t interpret its use in this particular situation as being not the slightest bit patronising in any way. And perhaps he thought that the kiss placed so delicately after he signed his name would tell me that actually he does care for my feelings at this difficult time after all. Tosser.
From: Claire
To: Elliot
Subject: Re: Hi
That would be lovely. Talk to you soon.
Claire x
I thought it was only fair to return his compliment. Besides, the sheer thought of turning him down in style when the moment arose was comforting to say the least. And so was the chocolate I ate for breakfast.
