Jahquisha Porter
This girl, she once had everything,
a loving family...popularity...vacations every summer and spring,
but within the blink of an eye her whole world came crashing down,
straight to the ground,
you see...she was only ten,
when,
this horrible thing happened,
why did her daddy have to die?
she would often wonder...why? why? why?
you see...he was her protector,
a protector was he,
and she,
was now afraid to be,
left alone with her mother,
who no longer loved her,
but had a passion for the street life,
this same woman who was once a very loving wife!
she would look to her so-called mother for contentment
but instead penetrated was what she did get,
she would have so many sleepless nights,
while visions of her internal fights,
repalyed through her mind...
throughout her life,
filled with strife,
she met a boy,
who was her rock and not her toy,
well...until they got married,
and his children she was the one that carried,
but he beat her anyway,
and from that day,
she no longer loved herself,
or anyone else,
as a child she would often pray,
but the same is the way things would often stay,
as an adult she rose above it all,
no longer did this girl seem to fall,
she began going to church,
and for what it was worth,
she even got saved,
no longer was her mind en-slaved,
by the enemy,
don't you see?
she grew up to be,
the exact opposite of what her mother had become,
instead she had become,
the mother for her kids that she wished her mother would've become,
while she thought no one was there,
while she thought no one knew her hopes and fears,
while she secretly wanted to die,
it was heaven that heard her cry...
My name is Jahquisha' Porter. I live in Haledon, NJ. I'm currently a senior in high school. It took me about four years to write this book. I put my heart and soul into it because I wanted to make sure that I said exactly what God wanted me to say.
I started writing poetry when I was thirteen years old. Poetry was my excape route. Poetry was my way to release my feelings. Throughout the years poetry became my best friend.
When I began going to church, I realized that this was my gift. Writing was my gift from God. I knew that as long as I glorified God in all that I did, then he would make a way out of no way for me.
Today I am a member of the Higher Ground Ministries chuch family in Newark,NJ. In the future, I plan on writing more books glorifying God's name and saying exactly what he wants me to say.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, I looked up to find Uncle Benny standing in my doorway.
My uncle Benny was a tall chocolate guy. He was buff and he’d go on for hours about this or that, you know, dumb stuff to a kid like me. As he sat on the bed, a stench of Gin and Juice burned my nostrils. I tried to turn away from him in the most inoffensive way; yet, I still think he was offended. when I turned back to face him, he was even closer to me, and his eyes…they had some sort of devilish twinkle in them…as he moved even closer…I began to become uncomfortable. His words slurred as he began talking to me about life and more stupid stuff.
“So, my beautiful niece…how-w-w-w are you?” he asked.
“I’m fine uncle Benny,” I quickly replied.
“I can see that!” he said very cunningly as he looked me up and down.
…I just backed away from him…
“Why don’t you give your favorite uncle a kiss,” he said pointing to his check.
Unaware of what he was really trying to do, I gave him a peck on the cheek. Then, it happened…this was now the second significant thing that changed my life forever…before I knew it, he grabbed my arms very firmly and made me kiss him. I kept my lips shut as his tongue wet the outside of my mouth, chin, and cheeks. The tangy smell of his breath and the taste of his warm, sticky, saliva made me feel as if I was about to throw up.
“Uncle Benny get off of me…please…your hurting me! I don’t want to play anymore…” I yelled out to him, but he wouldn’t budge. The next thing you know, I was being pinned down on my twin sized bed. He pressed his whole body against mine telling me to move my body up and down in unison with his. He sucked on my neck as tears trickled down my cheeks…I laid there lifeless praying to God that he’d stop…but he didn’t.
Next, he put me on top of him, and he began guiding my premature hips as if I was riding some type of bull or something.
“Help..! Somebody please help me..! PLEASE!”
My pleads for help were overpowered by my uncles large hand.
“Shut up! I said that we’re just playing a game…now don’t act like you’re not having fun!” he said.
“…But uncle Benny, I don’t wanna play anymore..!” I pleaded.
“Be quiet! Lay down and enjoy what I’m about to do!”
He ripped my polka dot blouse off and exposed my young breast. He took the tip of his tongue and he literally licked me from head to toe.
I felt weird. What the heck was he doing? And why was my body responding this way? I began to tense up and I even squirmed. I tried to get up; but, uncle Benny took the back of his hand and knocked me clean across the room. I flew into my dresser nearly knocking down my TV. By this time, everyone had left the apartment and I know momma heard exactly what was going on. My whole body began pulsating like I had been hit with a ton of bricks! I wanted to get up and pulverize him, but, instead, I cried…I cried loud and hard…that’s when momma came into the room…
