Anne Felt
Anne Felt speaks candidly about a difficult topic: emotional and spiritual recovery after divorce. Her clear message is stated eloquently, with simplicity and directness born of personal experience. "This is a no-nonsense look at the process of divorce. The truest work of this difficult transition lies in the aftermath of the legal proceedings. Each individual faces the opportunity to create a legacy of peace, forgiveness and growth or to live as a victim of the event. The choices we make dictate our future happiness, as well as the impact on our family members."
Ms. Felt uses simple metaphors, stories and real life examples to highlight the path to healing and growth. Readers are led through practical and thoughtful processes to examine their levels of awareness, beliefs, values, attitudes and goals. "As each person makes the moment by moment decisions to move towards peace, everyone in the family is allowed to heal. The key ingredients are time, willingness, effort and support."
Anne Felt has experienced the highs and lows, peaks and valleys of all sorts of relationships, including two marriages. She approaches life as an endless opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment, recognizing that our most profound times of growth often follow upon loss. Anne's work focuses on finding the messages of hope and peace that are imbedded in our challenges and apparent failures. "There is no such thing as failure. Every part of life is a stage. We act out the dramas that we know. As we learn more about ourselves, we create different scenarios that are more authentic and empowering. This is the game of our lives."
As a teacher and life coach, Anne focuses on relationships, family life, parenting and spiritual growth. Her mission is "To teach myself and others to come from our hearts instead of from our hurts." She teaches others through seminars and courses based on the books in her C.O.A.C.H. Series. "The translation of my acronym is Caring for One Another Creates Healng. This principle is the key to creating a peaceful and loving planet. That is my ultimate goal." Anne is an instructor trainer for the Redirecting Children's Behavior program, as well as a sought after speaker and presenter. For further information about her services and programs, go to www.heartfeltcoaching.com.
One of the most difficult transitions for an individual and a family is the process of divorce. It is not one event - as if divorce happens on one day. The day the divorce decree is handed down from the judge is more like the middle, and could actually be towards the beginning of the process of divorce. Divorce is a time of breaking down and healing. There is no true healing until the breaking down portion is complete.
The divorce process invloves many phases. In each phase there are opportunities to learn and to grow amidst the challenges of pain. It is through facing pain, challenges and difficulties that the human spirit is set free to grow. In our less difficult times we are more comfortable; no one wants to rock the boat. The comfort zone feels safely familiar, possibly soothing, stable and just as the word comfort indicates ... comfortable.
Challenging times force us to leave the safety and security of this comfort zone. The roller coaster ride of divorce certainly qualifies as one of the most heart wrenching of these times. The comfort zone mentality is blown away, at least for the time being.
I have the dubious distinction of being twice divorced. This was never my intention. I entered each marriage as a lifetime commitment. The first marriage lasted twenty-six years and produced three children. The second marriage showed surprising and alarming signs of trouble two days before the wedding. It became a prison after six months and was concluded at eleven months. The casual observer's first response might be: "What did you do wrong?" or "Why are you a two-time loser?" or "What were you thinking?" My brother-in-law called me the "runaway bride" when I left the second marriage. I am amazed at how little people really know each other in marriages and in family relationships.
The interesting fact is that we enter into relationships, especially marriage, dating, and other "significant other" arrangements, from our unique place of understanding or perception. Each person comes from their own "milieu" (see my first book Loving One Another: Becoming Aware of Who You Are, for a full description of this concept)...a milieu is that understanding or perspective on life that you are born into. Even siblings in the same home environment and family each have their own unique take on life. We are referring to each person's unique mental and emotional image of life. No one can totally understand another person's life view. We are typically unconscious of the details of our milieu. All of this information is filed away in our subconscious minds. The "job" of adulthood is to unlock that filing cabinet, and to go through the contents piece by piece, file by file, to see what is there. As the files are opened, the contents are reviewed for accuracy and usefulness. Divorce is one of these times of life review.
