The world is fascinated by sex and the sex industry. In the last 20 years, we have seen X-rated movies go from a theater in the worst part of town to our own VCRs and on the menu of expensive hotels as in-room entertainment. Its stars have gone from being virtual unknowns in the early 70’s to doing appearances on Jay Leno and television talk shows. The adult film business has grown by leaps and bounds. In 1984 alone more people rented or bought an X-rated movie than voted for Ronald Regan.
In this book, I have given the reader an uncensored, inside look at all the workings of the sex industry from movies and magazines to men’s clubs and all the emotions that go along with it. By reading these excerpts from my personal diary, I share with you the anger, elation, sadness and fear that have comprised my life. I give an inside look at the many famous people I’ve met and their personal quirks. As the first Native American porn star, I show you how this line of work is seen in the eyes of my religion and culture, and I share some of the healing ceremonies I have experienced.
Why would a young woman decide to get into such a business? What is it like to make an X-rated movie or to dance nude on stage in a gentlemen’s club? Many women say it is empowering. What kind of lives did these women have before entering the world of X? Why do they say it increases their self-esteem? Is it REALLY healthy emotionally? Why have five of my colleagues committed suicide? What’s it like when your friends (and the Godmother of your children) are dropping like flies? Why would a sexually abused and abandoned child decide of her own free will to make X-rated movies and how could this possibly be a healing experience? Is it really?
Since starting in the sex industry first as a dancer in 1980, I have literally lived on the road for years, traveling from town to town, club to club. As the only two-time winner of the title Miss Nude Galaxy, I was popular when I first started making adult movies. I was the first actress to start the now popular trend of signing an exclusive contract with a production company, much like the old Hollywood studio days.
I was in the adult movie business for well over 10 years. I have received the "Legends of Erotica" award in 1994, Fan Favorite in 1993, Free Speech Lifetime Achievement Award in 1995, was voted into the Adult Video News Hall of Fame in 1990, and won the award for Best Actress in that same year. Most recently, I was honored as one of the top 25 actors and actresses ever to be in the business. In addition to X-rated movies, I have also worked in films with such stars as Tim Allen, Paul Bartell, John Savage.
I was elected president of the short-lived X-rated Actors Association, an organization formed to protect actress’s rights to work with condoms. This group was formed when some talent started getting positive HIV tests.
I wrote a sexual advice column for Cheri Magazine for five years, in addition to penning most of my own movie scripts. After leaving the business, I started writing my own songs for my bands Double Euphoric and Vision Quest.
Having been very close friends with almost everyone in the business who has committed suicide, especially Megan Leigh, who died with a photo of my oldest son in her arms, and Savannah, who loved my deviled eggs, I feel the world needs to know their true stories. Most will be very surprised.
As I have been the only person, to my knowledge, to do audience preference questionnaires at adult movie theaters and bookstores, I feel I know what the audience really wants and is really like. I have met them repeatedly face-to-face from Quebec City to Milan, to Auckland and Sydney and every state in the union. I’ve heard the audience on the dozens of talk shows I have been on, I understand their questions and how they think. This book is for them and everyone else who ever wanted to hear an insider’s point of view on the industry.
Not since Linda Lovelace has an actress been able to completely speak out about her experiences here. Alex Jordan was writing her book when she committed suicide. Many comic books have been done by and about the lives of several actresses in the business, but this book is a very complete, detailed story of my life. I have kept nothing back.
It wasn’t long before Harry called to talk about our next projects. I had written a script called "Tasty" about a disc jockey named Tasty Tastems. Harry liked the idea and agreed to do it if I would write the movie he had always wanted to do, "The Ribald Tales of Canterbury".
I started to research the book. If you have ever read "Canterbury Tales", you know that it does not treat women with respect and they are not in positions of power. Wives and daughters are considered property and there is even a rape scene in it. I refused to reflect this in my version, so I had to do a major rewrite. Sorry Chaucer.
A budget of over $300,000 was unprecedented in an industry where $50,000 was considered expensive. It was the biggest budgeted X-rated movie ever done, next to "Caligula". We shot for nine days in the United States and two on location in Scotland. Because of the legal ramifications, only non-sex scenes could be shot abroad. It was the most professional shoot I had ever been on. Everyone involved was proud to be working on the project. On most sets the most commonly heard phrase is " Oh who cares, no one will notice, it’s just a porno movie", but on this set, everyone went out of their way to do their best. It was unheard of to see actors voluntarily rehearsing their lines off set like they did on this shoot. Everyone added an extra piece of believability to his or her ad libbing. There were no egos, no tempers; none of the usual upstaging and nit-picking that so often accompanies any type of entertainment. Everyone involved was willing to sacrifice for a good movie.
We had an actual miller’s wheel, a real stuffed pig for the scene at the inn and the costumes were rented from Universal Studio’s production of "Camelot". It was a real movie, which just happened to have sex in it here and there. It was also released in a very popular R-rated version with the explicit scenes cut out.
Colleen Brennan and I had a scene together. She was a very talented actress who had done many roles in regular movies and television. She was a few years older and wiser and I respected her. Later, the movie was voted the best X-rated movie ever made.
Bud also directed "Hyapatia Lee’s Tasty" and while it was something to be proud of, nothing could compare to "The Ribald Tales of Canterbury". In this movie I played a radio station disc jockey that also had a band she sang with. I got to do an X-rated music video for it and it was very fulfilling to be doing something with music again.
When "Tasty" came out, we were back out on the road again, dancing in those ever-popular men’s clubs. Harry was being kept busy in court on an old charge of distribution of pornography for owning a company that shipped a hard core tape to Miami. In Florida at the time, they only allowed soft-core movies. As a result, he decided never to make any more movies so I was cut loose from my exclusive contract with Caribbean.
The Las Vegas Consumer Electronic Show was coming up. Every year all the adult movie companies had booths where the stars signed their photos and one-sheets for the movies they were promoting. I was signing in Essex’s booth, just like I had done before, since "Body Girls" was distributed through them. Essex was going to be throwing a big promotional party and Jerry wanted me to do my infamous fire show at it. It was to be at "Jubilation’s", a club owned by Paul Anka and operated by his father, a very nice man who helped me in every way to make the show a success.
In the fire show, I set the contents of a Pyrex bowl on fire and pick up the fire with my hands. I then rub it on my bare arms, legs, chest and stomach. It burns for a few seconds and goes out on its own. I then take two torches, light them and rub them over my arms and legs, letting the fire burn on me for a few seconds before it goes out. The show is a Native American and modern physics revelation and usually creates a lot of attention. Jerry was no exception. It wasn’t long before we got a phone call from Jerry asking us to work for him under an exclusive contract. We were to do 6 films in one year and get a total of $100,000! The offer seemed too good to be true and it took us about a month to decide to say yes. It might’ve been one of the worst moves we could have made.
Jerry called almost everyday to reassure us that signing was the smart thing to do. He sent us flowers for the holidays that happened to be in that month. He treated us like a dear friend, caring about us personally. We called Harry to ask his advice and he said it appeared to be a good offer and that if it were him he’d probably say yes, but he also suggested we talk to his former girlfriend, Gail Palmer. She was now with Essex. We saw her personally the next time we were in LA.
She accurately portrayed how we had been "wined and dined" and treated like royalty to persuade us to sign the contract, but she predicted a future full of non-communication, selfishness and unprofessionalism by the company. In particular, Jerry and his brother Terry were the masters of the game. We believed her, but after months of renegotiating the contract and more reassurances, we signed anyway.
Perhaps I should have known better, after my personal experience with Ed Black on the set of "Naughty Girls Need Love Too". After all, he was probably acting under Jerry’s direct orders when he had Bud removed from the set. Experience is the best teacher and I was about to learn a lot.
