Dick Gibson
1969 is coming to a close.
Rob Grant begins to suspect that his year-long romance with Luisa is also nearing an end. If his instincts are right, it would mean that his search for an enduring relationship and a surrogate mother for his two teenage sons would continue. Twice divorced, it doesn’t help that he’s very cautious when it comes to making another long-term commitment.
Then late in December, it’s by sheer chance that Rob meets a former sweetheart while they’re both on business trips to Australia. Their love affair is reborn, and it offers him the prospect of a bright future with a dear, lovable woman. His boys remember her well and they share his hopes.
Unfortunately, the path ahead is anything but smooth. His younger son, Greg, gets into drugs once again, and then a life threatening health issue arises. Adding to his misery, Rob also faces the possibility that his Wall Street company may downsize and that his management job could be eliminated.
But in the background is Kim Rossi, a new woman in his life. She becomes a valued friend who generously offers Rob her support, and eventually her love, to this man whose strength is tested by the trials that confront him.
Dick Gibson was born into the twentieth century’s great depression and was raised on a small farm near Logansport, Indiana. After high school, he served on a minesweeper during the Korean campaign before graduating from the Indiana University School of Business in 1955. It was also the year that saw the beginning of his long professional career—one that started with his having had an important managerial role with the company in Downey, California that built the Apollo spacecraft. In the late sixties, he moved to suburban Connecticut and commuted into New York each day (the settings for both works, It Isn’t Easy Being a Lion and Deliberate Steps) where he worked for companies in the oil, basic metals, and executive search businesses. By the mid-seventies, he’d settled in central Massachusetts, changed careers, and spent a dozen years in various management roles within the real estate industry. Nearly a decade later, he relocated to south Texas and served as an officer in the largest privately held bank in the state. He and his educator wife, Sandra, then emigrated to Europe in 1986 and have since lived in both Spain and the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.
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The start to Monday’s routine went smoothly, in part because Helen was full of efficiency. “You must have had a good weekend.”
“That I did. Would’ve been better if you’d been a part of it.”
“Let it be, Helen. We’ve been over this how many times? If you have somebody looking after your biological needs now, then I won’t have to deal with your fantasies any longer.”
“Don’t you believe it. One day you’ll see things my way.”
“Let’s get back at it, or maybe I’ll start thinking you’d be better off in another department.”
“I get the message, Rob.”
With their weekly ritual behind them, they got busy once again dealing with problems and questions that seemed to accumulate every day. Rob was glad when it got to be five o’clock. A lot of what they’d worked on was just plain dull. As he was getting ready to leave, Helen asked him a question.
“Sure you wouldn’t like me to come home with you?”
“Get a little crowded. Lu’s just back from having been up in Worcester. You do remember that her Uncle Gino has cancer? She’ll need lots of support. It’s been extremely hard for her.”
“Sorry, Rob. That’s much more important. Under the circumstances, my question is entirely out of place. See you tomorrow.”
“Night.”
Rob was right about Lu. She looked gaunt. It was as difficult for her as he had imagined it would be. She asked him to hold her close, just as she had nearly three weeks earlier.
“He looks so bad, Rob. A big, beautiful man, a wonderful human being, just wasting away.” Then she broke down.
Rob wanted to be as consoling as he could, but there wasn’t much he could say. Her uncle didn’t have long to live. Lu had no interest in being loved this night. Her mind was elsewhere, and the events of these recent days would likely have an impact on how she looked at the road ahead and any long-term relationship with a man—namely Robin Milo Grant. The “wish” that Lu had expressed one night not quite two weeks earlier, that of hoping to share Rob’s future, was at risk of becoming irrelevant, and it would follow that her “best week” would then be reduced to little more than a collection of rich memories. December was off to a bad start for Lu and her family, and, longer term, it would likely alter the direction of Rob’s life. He was certain of his feelings.
“Would you like a drink?” Rob asked.
“Thanks. No. As soon as my eyes are fit to be seen in public, I’m going home. Mom needs me more than you do.”
“I’d say it’s about equal. But you know you can count on me to be the same kind of pillar you were for me when I was going through hell. I showed you that three weeks ago.”
“You don’t understand. I have to get myself together and then go give my mother support. Gino’s my uncle, but he’s her brother. Anyway, being loved is the furthest thing from my mind. It won’t happen.”
“It’s not on the agenda. There are too many other emotions you have to deal with. If you want me to just hold you, then I’m here, Lu.” She cried again but recovered quickly.
“I’m sorry. You’re being kind and supportive, and I’m treating you like dirt.”
“Not so. I know what you’re going through, and it’s up to you to decide what you think is best. That you’d put your mother first is the right thing to do.”
“You do understand, then?”
“Of course I do. Only question I have is, what can I tell Greg about his birthday dinner?”
“I wish I had a good answer for you. Could be that my New York trip is off. Time’s running out. We may have to go back up to Worcester at a moment’s notice. Whatever happens, we’ll be going back at Christmas like we’ve been planning on right along.”
“Then let’s leave it this way. Should you need me, all you have to do is let me know if you think a hug would help, or if you want to talk—or if you’d just like me to leave you alone.”
“I don’t really want to be left alone, but if I had to go through something like this with you I couldn’t handle it. It would destroy me. Makes me afraid to hope that someday my dreams about us would come true. Do you understand what I’m getting at?”
“I guess so. But you can’t live in fear of what might happen. What’s out there isn’t for any of us to see with any certainty. In the end, though, it has to be your decision. It can’t be mine.”
“I’d like to have that glass of wine, stay the night, and have you hold me, but I’m needed at home. This is about as hard on Mom as it was losing my dad. In some ways harder. The accident and his death were quick. This is like watching the same thing in slow motion. It’s terribly, terribly painful. But it’s time I went home. I told Mom I’d be back. She was of two minds about it, but I know she was glad to hear me say that I’d be there to stay with her. She assumes that you and I will have another day. If I can keep our dinner date with Greg, I’ll do it and maybe feel different about our night together. I thought when we left for Massachusetts that I’d be ready for some of you when we got back, but it just isn’t there.”
“Let me say it to you one more time, Lu. I understand. Don’t worry about it. And about the birthday dinner, I’ll talk to Greg. It’s just as well he hasn’t heard any of this. He’ll be disappointed because he cares as much about you as I do.”
“Ohh, Rob. Like always, you’re helping lift my spirits, and now I’m having guilt feelings about backing out on you.”
“Lu. Stop! You’re doing what’s right. I’ll be here tomorrow, the rest of the week, and after Christmas when I’m back from Sydney. If next Monday works out, you’ll make three guys very happy. If not, our prayers will be with you and your mother.”
“That means so much to me.” Tears came back to her eyes. Rob hugged her affectionately.
“Now, get going. Let us know how things are. Call when you can. I’ll want to hear your voice whenever it’s possible.”
“Thanks, Rob. I will call. You’re a big part of my support system, you know.”
“Give your mother our love, and let her know that she’s in our thoughts—as you’ll be.”
