Tracy L. Howell
WOMANKIND
is indeed a must-read for
every woman. In an age of deception and self-righteousness within the church, the author's honesty is captivating and refreshing. No longer bound by "what folks think", she undauntedly discloses her personal struggles and victories. Tracy L. Howell forces the reader to "be real", acknowledge the truth and therefore experience true freedom. She challenges every woman to:
- look inside herself and relinquish harmful behaviors, attitudes and emotional ties
- dismiss all feelings of shame and guilt concerning emotional and sexual struggles while pursuing total deliverance
- know her enemy
- know her God
- know who she is in Christ Jesus
Tracy L. Howell (known as Sister Tracy amongst church family and friends) is an accomplished teacher and minister of the Word of God. A born-again Christian since the age of 17, she has often stated, “I was a teenager when I gave my life to Christ, but I’d already lived the life and endured things of a thirty year-old.” Ordained as a minister in 1991 at the age of 22, her love for people and her gift to share this love and the gospel have opened doors for ministry everywhere from homeless shelters, street corners and prisons to churches of various denominations. She is called upon to conduct workshops and seminars at youth, singles and women’s conferences. Tracy delights to do God’s will in the earth, and she is determined to make sure her life is a blessing to others. Her personal motto, “If you won’t live right for yourself, do it for someone else. Your life does affect those around you – either for good or bad. Let it be good.”
This brings us to the lie. Satan would have us to believe that it''s okay to fulfill even our natural longings in ways that go against God''s plan. To be loved and fulfilled sexually are just plain old normal desires. How we choose to fulfill those desires is what’s questionable. I''ll use myself for an example. I was a normal teenager according to the world''s standards. I was out there, clubbing, partying with my friends, and had boyfriends. I was really into guys - I mean INTO them. Loved myself some fellas! But for the longest while I couldn''t quite understand why I would have these little thoughts about other females. I can vividly remember being at a party or a club working it out on the dance floor and seeing this girl checking me out. At this early age I didn''t think a whole lot about it, but I did recognize that she was on my tip (as the young folks say). I knew I wasn''t even going there with her, but for some strange reason I was flattered that she would be attracted to me. There were other incidences like this one, some very blatant passes were made, but I never ventured there as a teenager. Not until my later years, after I had given my life to Christ, did I really feel the tug and pull of this "strange" desire. Was I being tempted by a desire or lust of my own, or was it a temptation from my surroundings?
In my early twenties I was sitting in my apartment one afternoon. I can''t even remember why I was just sitting there in complete silence. I just fell back onto the sofa and began to think about my life. In an instant I had this flashback of my childhood. The very memory that I''d pushed as far back in my mind as I could came running to the forefront! It was as if I was being allowed to see the answer to why I struggled with thoughts of being intimate with another female and why I could easily pick up on this same desire in someone else. Like so many others, a seed had been planted in my life at a very early age. I saw it so clearly, as if it had just happened. I was only five or six years old at the time. She showed me what to do by doing it to me first… then instructed me to do the same to her… another female used me to help her masturbate… another, the same thing… another little girl introduced me to masturbating myself in the first grade at school. Why me, Lord! This is a question I asked time and time and time again. Why did all this happen to me? I hated myself at times, because I felt something was wrong with me. The devil had a field day with this, of course. "You call yourself a Christian! Look at you! You''re thinking about this other sister in a way you know is not right." Those are only some of the ways Satan would taunt me. That day I broke down and cried right there on my sofa. I saw that little girl (me) with no earthly idea what horrible seed was being sown into her life. She was trusting, and eager to make others happy, careful not to hurt anyone''s feelings or cause a ruckus. So I took the abuse in silence, time after time from both male and female. No wonder my sexual appetite was a wreck as a teenager. I couldn''t get enough of guys, but still longed for the touch and affection of a female. Sad…
